Movie Reviews

Hot-buttered opinion on the latest flicks

Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause

D+

Who wants to see a Christmas movie before the Halloween booty has even been scarfed? Disney is hoping the kiddies do, but there's little in this unnecessary sequel to put you in a festive mood—unless you just love bad Canadian jokes, farting reindeer and manufactured "magic." Humbuggery!

Tim Allen suits up again as the jolly ol' fat guy, and the witless script starts with his very pregnant wife going into false labor. (Her elfin ob-gyn is played by a kid—creepy!) In the rest of the labored setup, Allen appeases the missus by inviting her folks, Ann-Margret and Alan Arkin (doing his cranky-dad thing), up for the holidays.

To keep his identity and North Pole location a secret, Allen tells the clueless in-laws he's a toymaker in Canada and then disguises Christmas Town with maple-leaf flags. Even the annoying elves (aka "tiny Canadians") go around saying "Eh?"

Any spark of fun here is provided by Martin Short as nemesis Jack Frost, a snarky, spiky-haired egomaniac who schemes to snag Santa's job. The mischievous Short creates enough chaos that Allen—stressed by his duties as Father Christmas and a family man—wishes he weren't Santa anymore. And then we're thrown into It's a Wonderful Life territory—an okay idea but, alas, not wonderfully executed.

At one point, when Allen sees how "Santa Frost" has converted the North Pole into a crass, overcommercialized theme park, he yells, "This junk is not what Christmas is all about!"

My thoughts exactly.

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