Best & Worst of the Globes: "Hello, Mama Talkin'!"

Highlights and lowlights from the show

By Erik Pedersen Jan 12, 2009 3:56 PMTags
Jennifer LopezChris Haston/NBCU Photo Bank

What's the best thing that happened? The worst? The most "OMG, I can't believe what happened" moment? Read on.

Best Showstopper/Buzz Kill: Ever wonder what it'd be like to be the child of a famous person like J.Lo? Wonder no more, TV audience. The singer-actress-perfume let the chatty celebrities know who's boss when she shushed them with a stern "Hello, hello—mama talkin'." Are you impressed—or scared?

Kate Winslet Is the Reader! No, really. She totally read a superlong list of people and near-people (agents, eh) she wanted to thank, and, well, as much as we like to be read to, we prefer historical romance.

Sting—WTF? The singer seemed to have been replaced by an 18th-century buccaneer. Mind you, we aren't complaining...

The Curious Place Setting of Benjamin Button: The camera caught Brad Pitt asking a tablemate, "What's that for?" We're pretty sure he was curious at the award being given, and not one of those tiny forks at the table.

Best Performance by a Non-nominated Actor: Ricky Gervais, who came out to shush the crowd—"How rude are you lot?"— and then proceeded to turn in an impromptu comedy routine that was at least as good—and as long!—as Tom Cruise's in Tropic Thunder.

Most Newsworthy: No, David Duchovny didn't win an award for pretending to be a writer who has sex a lot (Calific-tion!), but he did mention his "wife" in his speech, which led every celeb reporter and editor watching to start preparing a story on the state of his marriage.

Best Reactions: Tina Fey. Tom Hanks. Tom Cruise. Some stars earn their awards/paychecks/creepy celebrity followers by remembering that fans are watching them at these shows sitting, eating, giving speeches. And they remember to look like they're enjoying it. Good job, folks. Can you get some of your bored-looking colleagues to follow suit?

Least Best Role Model: Sure, Tom Wilkinson is an awesome actor and got a much-deserved award, but Paul Giamatti blew our buzz when he revealed, "[The guy] got me smokin' again." Encouraging the competition to smoke is no way to get better parts, Wilkinson.

Best Writing: "Mind-reading barmaid in love with a vampire," "veteran, experienced stripper," "marijuana-dealing suburban mom." We don't know who composes the descriptions of all the nominated roles, but that writer should get a deal. That's some crazy stuff.

Least Helpful Insider Tip: We don't want to suggest we have any insider knowledge, but we are pretty confident Slumdog Millionaire has some Oscar buzz.

Bruges, Brother: Colin Farrell won for this small comic caper film, and gave a long, deeply entertaining speech that touched on more emotions than most films.

Biggest Upset: Did you know the awards were in HD? (OK, we were surprised by this.)

Best Speech: Newcomer Sally Hawkins gave a humble, winning speech that lacked the kind of breathless "Who me?" bunk that some winners try to pull off. Forgetting, of course, that this is an awards show and they are one of five possible winners, so why be surprised?

Worst Absence: Heath Ledger.

Best Animation: Those delightful Jonas Brothers handed out the award to Wall-E, and we were totally convinced they were real. It's amazing what computers can do these days.

Best Ad: Tracy Morgan is just one of the reasons to watch 30 Rock, but letting him give a speech full of his special brand of loony onstage was inspired: "I'm the face of postracial America: Deal with it, Cate Blanchett!" Whatever that meant, it was funny.

Most Promising: Onstage with Freida Pinto from Slumdog Millionaire, Bollywood film star Shahrukh Khan said he would do "a pelvic Indian dance, but they would shoo [him] off the stage." Um, actually, we think half the audience would be tossing dollar bills onstage, but still it was probably best to let the moment pass.

Hottest Presenter: We're going with Johnny Depp, because he seemed like he just woke up from some sexy dream, and because Glenn Close looked like an excited schoolgirl when he came onstage. Trust us, it ain't easy to get Close to squeal.

This Speech Has Been Rated R: Mickey Rourke's speech was filled with plenty of heart and tough, salty talk, and it was punctuated by Rourke's Wrestler director giving him the finger. Thankfully, it was followed up by the producer of big winner Slumdog Millionaire, who blurted out a bleepable word when he found his stage time was being wrapped up.

2009 Golden Globes: Big Moments From the Show