Jeff Vespa/WireImage.com• Someone has decided to give Nicole Richie the opportunity to sing and dance (not to mention get out of the house) in Broadway's Chicago. We love, love, love Nicole, but there's no way we can get behind this. Sorry, Nic.
• Nicole Kidman couldn't be happier with her pregnant body. "I'm so happy," she says. "I can't ask for anything more except big boobs. I've wanted Marilyn Monroe curves all my life." Everyone seems to have caught the Marilyn bug.
• While we're on the topic of M.M., Lindsay Lohan is considering taking her crappy impersonation of the screen legend to moving pictures. Hugh Hefner has reportedly asked LiLo to re-create Marilyn's famed nude swim from the unfinished film Something's Got to Give. Please, keep your clothes on, Linds.
• Jennifer Lopez allegedly spent $1.4 million on giving birth to her unnamed twins. That's a hefty price to live up to—those twins better do something awesome.
• Insiders are saying "it's getting pretty serious" between Penélope Cruz and Javier Bardem. We guess if we're going to have to see our man with another woman, it's best that it's Penélope. Sigh.
• HX magazine posed the best question ever to Janet Jackson: "If a 'Janet' drag queen had to battle a 'Madonna' drag queen, what advice would you give the 'Janet' queen?" Of course, Janet had the best answer ever: "Kick the bitch's ass!"