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Chiquita Beyonca Sasha Fierce gets fruity, apparently channeling Carmen Miranda for a video shoot in Brazil

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Sue Me? Sue You! Sue Everybody!

Scarlett  Johansson Daniele Venturelli/WireImage.com

In this corner: Scarlett Johansson, who's suing mad over Us Weekly's "outrageous and defamatory" plastic surgery allegations.

"Scarlett has always been straightforward with the press regarding her body image, and she is very concerned that her fans (and perhaps even her employers) will feel mislead. Thus, she feels compelled to take immediate legal action against Us Weekly," her publicist told OK! magazine.

Teri Hatcher Terry Williamson/WireImage.com

And in this corner: Teri Hatcher, who's being sued for using the wrong lip plumper.

Hydroderm wants $2 million from the actress to compensate for breach of contract since the Desperate Housewife, who was supposed to pimp its products, allegedly promoted the products of a competing firm.

The outcome: Magazines will fly off shelves as people aim to judge ScarJo's denials for themselves. Lip plumpers will get a high-profile boost and sell like hotcakes. And everyone—but you!—will make money.

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