Weekend Peep Show: Girlie Men!

John Travolta Theo Wargo/WireImage.com
Let me start by offering my apologies to the marketing squad at Disney. I know that Wild Hogs is supposed to appeal to macho, macho men who yearn to live vicariously through the adventures of motorcycle-driving men. I also understand that as a woman, I should want to see the movie because I saw John Travolta dance with Ellen DeGeneres on Ellen and equate their grinding to solid, female-friendly fun. Oh, hell. I'm not apologizing. I don't want to see this movie! But I bet America does.

On with it. We got more movies to rip on and get riled up for!

Wild Hogs Lorey Sebastian/Touchtone Pictures

Wild Hogs
I can't dedicate any more attention to it or I'll wake up feeling all icky. But I do vow to ask William H. Macy what pulled him in the next time I see him.

Zodiac Paramount Vantage

Zodiac
Ultimate perfection. David Fincher is directing. Jake Gyllenhaal and Mark Ruffalo are costarring and having this passive-aggressive bitchfest in the press. You know, where Jake says the movie was frustrating work and Mark says that if you come prepared and not all hungover then you shouldn't have any problems with Fincher. Brilliant stuff. And, I've yet to find one person who's seen it and doesn't love it. And love is a strong word.

Black Snake Moan Paramount Vantage

Black Snake Moan
See this now. Like, leave work. Say you have a doctor's appointment. Say you have "the sickness" and start rubbing yourself. Okay, if you don't look like Christina Ricci it might not work. But see this movie, people. It was made to be seen on the big screen in a big crowd. I speak from experience, and I stand by my review.

Two Weeks
A family gathers to say goodbye to their majestic, supermaternal mother. But it doesn't feature Diane Keaton and it's not called The Family Stone. This low-budget family drama was made a while ago, and MGM is barely even telling anyone that it's out there. But the cast might do it for ya: Sally Field, Ben Chaplin, Tom Cavanagh and Clea DuVall.

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