Marc Malkin

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Just when you thought Carrie Fisher had no more secrets to tell, she goes and writes and stars in Wishful Drinking, a new one-woman show about—what else?—her life.

In the production, which opened last night at the Geffen Playhouse in L.A.'s Westwood neighborhood, the writer-actress famously known as Princess Leia gave us an hysterical look at love and marriage (her ex-husbands are musician Paul Simon and openly gay CAA honcho Bryan Lourde), her former American Sweetheart couple parents Debbie Reynolds and Eddie Fisher and her highly chronicled drug abuse and mental illness.

She said her marriage to Simon finally fell apart when she was traveling between New York and Los Angeles during the making of the movie adaptation of her bestselling pseudo-memoir, Postcards from the Edge. After a long weekend spent mostly arguing, Fisher found herself boarding a plane to the West Coast, when she turned to Simon and sneered, "You'll feel bad if I crash." Simon, she claimed, simply shrugged and said, "Maybe not."

That's not the only venom Fisher spewed at her first ex-husband. At one point in the show, she played a snippet from a recording of one of his songs—despite the fact that she said he refused to give her the rights to do so. "I didn't take alimony," Fisher said in her defense. "So, this is my alimony."

While a call from Bob Dylan once left her hopeful that the Tambourine Man was romantically interested in her, she was heartbroken to learn he only wanted her business advice. Get this: Fisher said Dylan was interested in talking to her about helping him come up with a name for a cologne he was planning to launch.

Bizarre as that may sound, Fisher said Dylan also told her he wanted to open a beauty shop. The late former Beatle George Harrison told Fisher at the time that Dylan was always thinking of ways to leave the entertainment business to live a so-called normal life.

Fisher's show is slated to run here until the end of December, but I'm told if it's successful enough she wants to try bringing it to Broadway.

Last night's opening was quite a hodgepodge of bold-faced names. In the audience were Camryn Manheim, Chad Lowe, Dick Van Dyke, Penny Marshall, Lainie Kazan, Tate Donovan, Beverly D'Angelo, Lisa Bonet, Selma Blair, Sean Lennon, Dan Jinks and Bruce Cohen, the Oscar-winning producers currently developing the movie adaptation of Fisher's recent bestselling novel The Best Awful.