Marc Malkin

Sure, George Clooney is an actor, director, screenwriter, activist and all-around classy guy. But when he was honored Friday night by the American Cinematheque, all anyone could talk about were his looks, charm and reputation as a ladies' man.

His Oceans Thirteen costar Ellen Barkin got one of the biggest laughs of the night when she proudly announced, "Yes, I f--ked George Clooney." Despite insisting she was kidding, she gave an awfully convincing line reading.

Bonnie Hunt reminisced about meeting the Oscar winner 20 years ago, when she said he revealed his greatest hope to her: "My biggest dream is to be voted Sexiest Man Alive."

In a taped tribute from Tangiers, Matt Damon demonstrated just how world famous his buddy is. The camera panned to a local movie theater showing Clooney's Batman and Robin (you know, the one that features infamously large nipples on his costume). Seconds later, Damon was giving refunds to the outraged North African audience who lashed out at Clooney for ruining the Caped Crusader movie franchise. "Float me some cash," pleaded Damon. "The Peacemaker is opening here in, like, three months."

There was plenty of praise, too. "For not being Mexican," his Dusk to Dawn costar Salma Hayek said, "you make the best shrimp quesadillas I've ever tasted." And his ER pal Julianna Margulies thanked him for teaching her how to "make out onscreen without using tongue."

In a nod to Clooney's political work--or is it political aspirations?--politicos like Bill Clinton, Al Gore and John McCain offered taped congratulations. But leave it to Clooney to have former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright pulling a Barkin. "Most of all," she deadpanned, "I have to declare my undying love for you."

For reasons known probably only to the two of them, Julia Roberts, in presenting the actual award to Clooney, beamed, "You can do wacky things with shaving cream and Neosporin--and I don't mean that in a sexy way."

But in the end, Clooney got his revenge. He showed embarrassing photos of everyone who chided him on the stage's big screens. There was a bare-chested Don Cheadle in a cowboy hat striking a come-hither look with a finger on his lips. A very young Damon was shown in a shiny orange suit and caught in a midair, arms-flapping dance step. The best was saved for last: What was flashed on the screens when Clooney said Barkin's name? Nick Nolte's infamous wild-haired and wide-eyed mug shot. "Thanks," Clooney said, "for beating the hell out of me."

The American Cinematheque put on quite a brilliant show. Perhaps they should be producing the more-often-than-not ho-hum Oscars and Emmys. You can catch the entire Clooney jokefest--which turned out to be the 25-year-old Cinematheque's most successful fundraiser--on AMC Dec. 13.

As hilarious as the evening was, I also got a giggle waiting in line for my car. Nothing funnier than seeing a person like the very powerful and very rich Paramount Pictures boss Brad Grey schlepping home a gift bag stuffed with, among other things, a copy of Vanity Fair, a bunch of DVDs of Clooney movies and a bottle of…shampoo.