H'wood Party Girl

Bob Riha Jr/WireImage.com

RSVPs:  Shannen Doherty, Tara Reid, Gary Coleman...
When:  June 19
Where:  Paramount Studios

Just about every other week I get an invitation for a new cell-phone launch party. Many are lame, with celebrities only attending to get yet another free phone (what they do with their plethora of technology swag is beyond me). Others, like Samsung, reel me in with the promise of an exciting musical performance. So, what's the catch for tonight's LG Mobile TV Party? Well, the new LG VX9400 lets you watch the telly on your celly. So, they're celebrating the launch with a tribute to shows of yesteryear. Being a ginormous Charlie's Angels fan, I just can't resist.

To the Batcave and The Bunch
Stage 14 at Paramount Studios looks more incredible than the invitation implied. As I walk in, Jesse Metcalfe is testing out the Batmobile in the "Hollywood" section. The former gardener would make a pretty hot Batman. Yummy.

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Adjacent to the retro cars is a re-creation of The Brady Bunch living room, where partygoers are slipping on '70s-style costumes and wigs and flashing peace signs on the stairwell. Also on the shag carpet is Peter Brady himself—only taller and with a few more wrinkles. Peter, aka Christopher Knight, autographs a vintage TV to be auctioned off for charity, while his wife, Adrianne Curry, veers in a different direction. "I actually don’t like The Brady Bunch," the America's Next Top Model cycle one winner tells me. Those dorky polyester pantsuits must give her nightmares.

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From the Future to the '50s
Adrianne instead joins Shannen Doherty at the Star Trek set, and the sci-fi show is much more her speed. "I love Heroes!" Adrianne says of her favorite current show. "Heroes is like Star Wars. Hot people! Imagine 800 different Han Solos." Yes, Han Solo (Harrison Ford) is pretty hunky, but we're at the Star Trek station. Captain Kirk (William Shatner) is not my cup of tea. When it comes to fantasy hunks, I'll stick with Bat-tastic Metcalfe.

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George Takei, however, would be happy to hear the model's love of sci-fi. The openly gay Heroes star is reliving his closeted Ensign Sulu days amid hot female Trekkies. The set is cool, but my stomach is grumbling so I follow Erin Moran (Joanie from Happy Days) to Arnold's. The diner re-creation hits the spot with delicious burgers, fries and old-fashioned milkshakes. It's good for my waistline that I didn't live in the '50s!

Child Stars and Crazy Starlets
"The two biggest train wrecks of different decades are here," my reporter pal says, as I wipe some whipped cream off my lips. I look around to see whom he's referring to and immediately spot Gary Coleman and Tara Reid in the VIP section. The Diff'rent Strokes star is certainly enjoying himself, taking pictures with two busty blondes. I briefly interrupt him to get his opinion on talking while driving, considering all the recent car problems celebs have been encountering. "I don’t believe in cell phones in cars," he says. "I’m sure all these TV phones are going to ruin lives." Can he even reach the steering wheel?

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Meanwhile, train-wreck number two is reverting back to her Taradise–era wardrobe with a supershort cleavage-baring, leopard-print dress. Whatever happened to creating a more chic image, T.? The blonde dances and smokes cigarettes surrounded by guy-pals, kissing one just for the crowd's pleasure. They must be friends with benefits.

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Flirting with the Younger Crowd
On the other side of the VIP table, Scott Speedman chats with a bud while Lauren "L.C." Conrad calmly sips a drink. I might not have recognized the Hills star had it not been for the large Chanel purse she always carries. I haven't seen her with her hair tied in a ponytail for ages. Also getting their drink on are Ryan Cabrera and Josh Henderson, who chat up a girl by the bar. She's more of a Hayden Panettiere-type than his ex, Paris Hilton, but she's an adorable blonde nonetheless.

After listening to DJ AM cleverly mix old-school and new-school songs for a while (like segueing Rod Stewart's "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?" into Justin Timberlake's "Sexy Back"), I decide to call it a night. As I'm grabbing some Goobers from the old-fashioned candy girls carrying around trays, I bump right into Isaac Cohen. I've never seen Britney Spears' former fling in person before, but now I understand why she was smitten. Maybe he should be the next Batman.

—With additional soiree scooping by our fete froshy Jessi Joplin