H'wood Party Girl

E! Networks/Brandon Hickman

Don't miss the third season of The Girls Next Door, Sundays at 10 p.m., followed by the brand-new series Paradise City—a firsthand look at what it's like to live, love and work in Las Vegas!

RSVPs:  Simon Cowell, Hugh Hefner and, of course, his Girls
When:  Feb. 27
Where:  Playboy Mansion   

Having never been to the Playboy Mansion, I've tripled my getting-ready time. I may not be a Bunny, but I still want to look good for Hugh Hefner. He is a legend, after all. And the legend is opening his gates for E!'s Launch Party for Paradise City and Season Three of The Girls Next Door. As a shuttle takes me up the driveway of Hef's Holmby Hills palace, I see an oversize "Brake for Animals" sign. Minutes after walking the red carpet, I meet the first creatures of the night: four Playboy Bunnies.

It's early, so I tour the estate, giggling at caged monkeys and taking pictures in the famed Grotto—you know, where Bunnies are rumored to disrobe and indulge in a midnight Jacuzzi sesh? Nobody nakies yet, and I highly doubt they will be, considering that L.A. is still torturing us with the coldest winter this party girl can remember.

The chill has caused past Playmate Shanna Moakler to cover her summery yellow dress with a knee-length coat. The former Mrs. Barker does, however, keep a spring flower in her ear to attract male party revelers. Shanna insists she and Travis are single (even though they were totally making out on V-Day). "I've seen a lot at the Playboy Mansion," she says with a smile. "I mean from orgies to....well, just anything you can imagine."

Things heat up, though hardly to orgiastic levels, when the cast of E!'s new Las Vegas reality show Paradise City arrives. Singer Rick DeJesus looks like a rock star version of Ashton Kutcher, and fellow castmember (and author) Molly Sullivan could easily pass for a Playboy Bunny with her long platinum locks and perky assets. But the real hottie here is club promoter Jack Lafleur, who, despite living in a city of sin, maintains his innocence. "I think I’m a pretty good guy," he tells me. We'll just have to see when the show airs.

Not willing to risk frostbite during their walk from the Mansion to the tented poolside party, Holly Madison and Bridget Marquardt arrive in matching white furry coats. They immediately decamp to a roped-off VIP booth with Hef and third girlfriend Kendra Wilkinson. Holly fills me in on the upcoming episodes of Girls Next Door: "You get to see our professional goals, so I think it’s a more personal season."

But all Kendra can think about is partying. She immediately grabs her fave cockatil—cranberry and vodka—and tells me how she stays the life of the party. "You have a couple good drinks, then you go all out shakin' your booty," she says with a laugh. "Shakin' your booty is the best thing in the world. Even if you don't know how to do it, you can still do it. What I do is I get up on the highest place in the room and I show my ass off. The highest part of this room I'll probably get up on later." I can't wait.

Not needing a pedestal to stand out is America's Next Top Model judge J. Alexander, aka Miss J. With his imposing stature, quirky beanie and pigtails, the catwalk queen is hard to miss. Especially when he pulls out his Swarovski-studded Sidekick—and a bedazzled Vaseline bottle. "Tyra gave it to me," he says with pursed lips.

The Vegas virgin (yes, he's probably the only person in the room who hasn't been) goes on to tell me he thinks Britney Spears should pose for Playboy. “Why not? She’s shaved everything else off," he says. "If she shaved it off she can take it off."

And he's not the only one. Kendra agrees with Miss J., adding that she's even thinking of going bald. "I agree with what Britney did," the bubbly blonde says. "You know why? Because both you and I know that we have said in our lives, 'I’m gonna shave my head.' So she’s the type of person who walks the walk. She did it, and I want to do that one day. I swear I will.” Thankfully, before Kendra can follow through on her bald, er, bold statement, DJ Paul of Three 6 Mafia arrives, and the rap-loving gal pulls him inside her private booth to pose for a pic with Hef. Whew! (And, for the record, Hollywood Party Girl has never considered shaving her locks.)

Lance Bass told me at an Oscar party that he wasn't going to make it here to see the Girls, but I spot a different ex-'N Syncer by the cheese bar. As Joey Fatone and I munch on imported Brie and Gouda, he tells me how to have fun in Las Vegas. "Go to dinner at Little Buddha or N9NE," he says of the Palms' Asian bistro and steak restaurant. "Hang out at the Ghostbar for a while, then go to Rain." Paradise City's JJ Jones—the exec assistant to the Maloof brothers, owners of the Palms—should thank Joey immediately. All four places Joey suggested are in the Maloofs' Vegas casino and hotel. Trying to score a free room, Fatone?

I'm dying for a sneak peek inside the Playboy mansion, so I pop out of the tent and peer through the tall French doors. Under a large frame of the Girls and their Playboy cover, I see a line of dogs dash across the hallway, followed by a seemingly out-of-breath security guard.

Outside, a different dog is having a smoke. "You're the biggest TV star in America," a man tells Simon Cowell. "I don't know about that," Simon replies. The American Idol judge has modesty in his bones. Whodathunkit?  I'm even more shocked when, standing by the bar, notorious bad boy Simon gently taps a girl to move aside so I can order a drink. This Brit's not so bad after all.

By the time I leave, Kendra's up on the VIP table shakin' her thang. At least Hef's Girls know how to keep their promises. I just hope for Puffin's sake that Kendra forgets she said she'd go bald. He might have to get a new girl! For more on this unabashed Bunny bash, check out E!'s Playboy Mansion Party gallery.

 —With additional soiree scope by my fete froshy Juontel White