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Can Oprah really swing the election?

What do you think of all these big celebrities like Oprah backing presidential candidate Barack Obama? Does celebrity support help a candidate, or can it backfire?
—Melany, New Haven, Connecticut

The B!tch Replies:  You speak as if Oprah does not fall into her own category, as if she's a mere mortal you could switch out with Hilary Duff or Brad Pitt or a Muppet. If you think this way, you are a fool. When Oprah finally brings about the Second Coming and rains her hellfire of justice down upon all who failed to live righteously unto her, you'll be way, way sorry.

Most celebrity endorsements mean little more than bupkes, politicos say. A smile from Pitt or George Clooney may merit a day's worth of headlines, but, I am told, very little more than that. People do not rush to the polls because Clooney tells them to. They only try to save Darfur.

"What is far more important for a presidential candidate is getting the support of a group," says Dr. Herb London, president of the Hudson Institute, a Washington think tank. "For example, if I knew the Southern Baptists were supporting a candidate, I'd say that is a pretty strong endorsement."

The only exception to this general rule? The aforementioned Oprah. She is a group. She has a TV audience of 8 million. She tells people what to read, what to wear, even how to think—and legions of fans listen and obey. A Gallup poll recently named Oprah the second-most influential woman in the United States, behind Hillary Clinton.

In other words, Oprah wants people to vote for Barack Obama, and by Thor's hammer, she just might get her way.

In all fairness, a Pew Research Center poll conducted in September said nearly 7 in 10 Americans would not be affected by Winfrey's endorsement. But then again, Oprah isn't just endorsing Obama. She's practically touring with him, Phish style, visiting three key states with the candidate in coming weeks.

Even more important, Oprah's largely female, mostly middle-aged audience is shaping up to be a key demographic. Hillary Clinton wants those votes. And so, by default, does Obama.

Now if you'll excuse me, I was thinking about getting some lunch, and I need to find out what Oprah says I may eat.

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