Steve-O Blogs Drug, Alcohol Abuse

In a new posting, troubled Jackass star opens up about his struggles with addiction

By Josh Grossberg Mar 21, 2008 7:15 PMTags

Steve-O says he has his parents to thank for making him a Jackass.

The embattled celeb, who earlier this month was forcibly hospitalized in the psych ward at Los Angeles' Cedar-Sinai Medical Center after getting busted on cocaine charge, candidly discusses his drug and alcohol problems in a new post on his website, blaming much of his erratic behavior on his unconventional upbringing.

"Mom was very alcoholic, and I feel that is a gross understatement. I'd love to say that I first took to alcohol out of affection for my mother (there was never any shortage of that for me) but I think the truth is that I was always powerless over it," he writes.

"I know I was always powerless over alcoholism, because it had such a grip on Mom's adulthood and my childhood, and I never chose to fight it."

He goes on to recount a troubled upbringing.

"We were frequently on airplanes, and before Mom and Dad would find themselves in the embarrassing position of being caught by other passengers with a crying baby, I was fed alcohol."

Steve-O, whose real name is Stephen Glover, recalls one particularly painful memory.

"Mom's alcoholism truly reared its ugly head when I was eight and nine years old, it was in 1983 that she lied to the family about having lymph node cancer so that she would have an explanation for staying in bed drunk at all hours," writes the 33-year-old. "I forgave my mom very easily for her act of dishonesty, my love for her was unconditional."

Taking responsibility for his own reckless lifestyle, he adds: "At this point in my life I find myself hoping that I will be able to forgive myself for similarly selfish acts that my own addiction led me to commit."

Steve-O's mother has since passed away. "I can't believe I called out my own dead Mom for what's surely the worse lie she ever told. I also can't believe I ever picked up my first drink on my own after the way alcohol ruined her life."

He says he engaged in heavy drug use as a teenager, including smoking marijuana and taking LSD, and eventually consuming large quantities of nitrous oxide (which he admitted inhaling by the case) amphetamines, ketamine and cocaine.

"It is not my intention to glorify my history as a drug abuser with elaborate stories about having sex in lavatories on airplanes after snorting amphetamines off the toilet at the tender age of seventeen," he writes.

"I will simply say that when I was interviewed about it all upon checking into this rehab facility, it became frighteningly clear tome how lucky I am to still have any chance whatsoever at leading a happy, fulfilling, and meaningful life."

He says he tried to go to AA at 18, but balked. This time, however, the tattooed prankster claims he was serious about getting sober and that his recent stint in the psych ward and rehab has even led to a spiritual awakening.

"It's time for me to 'hang up my hat,' to 'throw in the towel,' it's time for me to 'call it quits.' "

He signs off by penning a "goodbye letter to my drugs of choice."

"I'm not ready to die. I'm ready to live. I'm ready to breathe (properly even). I'm ready to fall in love. I'm ready to become ready to start a family. I'm ready to be happy, fulfilled and meaningful.  Maybe I'll see you f---ers if and/or when I'm ready to die," he writes.

With Steve-O's hospitalization extended by an additional two weeks, his arraignment on the felony cocaine-possession charge has been continued to Mar. 26.