It's February Sweeps, Ready or Not

Wed., Jan. 30, 2008 4:56 PM PST by Joal Ryan

You know when you're having one of those days, and you don't really feel like going out, but you made the date, so...?

TV's February sweeps knows the feeling.

The Nielsen calendar says the ratings period starts Thursday, and so it will. Even if the writers' strike has rendered scripted shows speechless and threatened star attendance at the Oscars.

Ready or not, here's what's in store:

Finally! It's the long-awaited season premiere of The New Adventures of Old Christine (Monday, CBS)! Oh, and some show called Lost (Thursday, ABC) is back, too.
Other season premieres: America's Next Top Model (Feb. 20, CW); Jericho (Feb. 12, CBS); Pussycat Dolls Present: Girlicious (Feb. 18, the CW); and, Survivor: Boylicious, sorry, Survivor: Micronesia—Fans vs. Favorites (Feb. 7, CBS).
Fox viewers who have subsisted this winter on a thin, watery diet of Don't Forget the Lyrics are in for a feast of two—count 'em, two—new episodes of House (Sunday and Tuesday).
Other scripted shows that will offer new episodes include: NBC's Medium, Law & Order, Las Vegas and Friday Night Lights; Fox's Back to You; ABC's According to Jim, Boston Legal and October Road; the CW's One Tree Hill; and CBS' next-to-nothing.
CBS, by the way, would like to point out that if you don't subscribe to Showtime, and don't watch TV shows on DVD or iTunes, then its slate of Dexter reruns (premiering Feb. 17) may well be new to you.
Dexter aside, the networks will debut some actual brand-new series, as in, never before aired, not even on pay cable, including: Brooke Shields' Lipstick Jungle (Feb. 7, NBC); Raquel Welch's Welcome to the Captain (Monday, CBS); the Internet's Quarterlife (Feb. 26, NBC); and not your pediatrician's Eli Stone (Thursday, ABC).
NBC's American Gladiators crowns its new gladiators, one man and one woman, on Feb. 17; ABC's Dance War: Bruno vs. Carrie Ann lays down its arms, and legs, on Feb. 18.
Also ready for its season finale: Prison Break (Feb. 18, Fox).
Two award shows that have waivers from the WGA: the 39th annual NAACP Image Awards (Feb. 14, Fox), set to feature Stevie Wonder and reigning American Idol champ Jordin Sparks; and, the 50th annual Grammy Awards (Feb. 10, CBS), set to feature Beyoncé and reigning American Idol sales champ Carrie Underwood.
One awards show that doesn't have a waiver from the WGA (yet?): the 80th annual Academy Awards (Feb. 24, ABC), set to feature host Jon Stewart and who knows who else.
One awards-show segment you might not have minded being lost to the strike: The Grammys' planned Beatles tribute, starring the cast of Across the Universe, the cast of Cirque du Soleil's Love and the kitchen sink.
Other special events: Super Bowl XLII (Sunday, Fox); an all-new Knight Rider TV-movie, called Knight Rider (Feb. 17, NBC); an all-new production of A Raisin in the Sun, called A Raisin in the Sun (Feb. 25, ABC) and starring the actor known as Sean Combs; and a Supernanny visit to the harried home of Wilson Phillips' Wendy Wilson (Feb. 20, ABC).
You like game shows, right? Good. Because here they come: a prime-time version of The Price Is Right (Feb. 22, CBS); My Dad Is Better Than Your Dad (Feb. 18, NBC), described as a cross between American Gladiators and Fear Factor, except with guys in Dockers; and, Amne$ia (Feb. 22, NBC), a Dennis Miller-hosted quiz show about what we forgot.

Likely reigning above all these shows, save the Super Bowl, will be Fox's American Idol, which will stick to the script and (a) move on to the Hollywood round (Feb. 12), (b) move on to the semifinal round (Feb. 19) and (c) move on to the part where Ryan Seacrest drags out the results for however long the time slot requires (Feb. 21).