Colbert's High-Wrist Venture Pays Off
They couldn't have written it any better. Which is good, considering.
On Wednesday's episode of The Colbert Report, host Stephen Colbert presented a literally huge check for $171,525 to the Yellow Ribbon Fund, making good on the promise he made last summer after breaking his wrist to "raise wrist injury awareness."
The mock-conservative pundit raised the dough for the charity, which benefits injured U.S. soldiers and their families, by peddling red Wrist Strong bracelets inspired by—or, in this case, lampooning—the yellow Lance Armstrong Live Strong cancer-awareness wristband that led to a superfluity of multicolored bracelets representing a multitude of causes.
Colbert has been sporting his own bracelet since declaring war on wrist violence on Aug. 8. At the time, he was still sporting a cast on his left wrist, the result of an onstage tumble a few weeks earlier, during his usual preshow jog around the set to pump up the crowd.
"The only thing worse than the pain has been the agony," the bespectacled funnyman said. "Hollywood has been glamorizing wrist violence for years…and I am fighting back with the most powerful tool known to man—the silicone bracelet! It is go time."
"Just to put it on requires a wrist—that's one level of awareness," Colbert continued. "Every time you look down, it will remind you that you have a wrist. And if you ever forget what the area connecting the hands to the arm is called, you can just look down and it says 'wrist' right there on the bracelet."
Asking audience members to raise their red-accented wrists in solidarity, Colbert exalted, "Just imagine how those bracelets will shine when they're doing something useful, like holding torches at a rally."
When not campaigning for GOP presidential candidate Mike Huckabee or otherwise indulging his right-wing inclinations, Colbert was busy selling bracelets via colbertnation.com and entreating celebrity pals such as Al Gore, Katie Couric, Brian Williams and New York mayor Michael Bloomberg to board the Wrist Strong express.
On Wednesday, he encouraged fans to purchase more bracelets and send them to New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, who may or may not have been hurt when he was photographed sporting a boot while leaving girlfriend Gisele Bündchen's Manhattan apartment this week.
"Now, I know he injured his ankle, but I have said many times, the ankle is just the wrist of the foot," Colbert said. "And if you do so, not only will you be helping [Brady], you will be supporting our troops."
Colbert also raised $17,000 for the Yellow Ribbon Fund when he auctioned off the cast that, in its own way, launched a movement.
He and fellow Comedy Central personality Jon Stewart returned to the airwaves Jan. 7 after a two-month hiatus imposed by the ongoing writers' strike. Both The Colbert Report and The Daily Show are operating sans scribes.
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