Meet Britney, the Pop Star
Britney Spears is a pop star, and you're not.
That was the fallback position of Spears' camp during the latest custody hearing Thursday regarding the, well, pop star's two sons.
Spears attorney Anne Kiley told the court that the, yes, pop star has failed to heed every call to the drug-test lab because she is a, yes, "pop star," who thusly is often out late at night, and frequently asleep when the drug-test lab rings in the morning.
Additionally, Kiley said, Spears' pop-star stature requires her to frequently change phone numbers in order to make it harder for fans to track her down. The downside is that Spears' game of musical numbers also makes it harder for the drug lab to track her down.
Spears, who lost primary custody of two-year-old Sean Preston and one-year-old Jayden James on Oct. 1 to ex-husband Kevin Federline, is currently under a court order to submit to regular drug testing.
On Thursday, Spears' legal team said that the pop star had undergone 10 drug screenings, and had passed every one. (View the minute order for Thursday's hearing.)
Federline's legal team maintained that Spears showed up for only six of 14 requested tests.
The pop star's reputedly poor batting average prompted Federline's attorneys to call for Thursday's hearing.
Neither Spears nor Federline attended.
Federline attorney Mark Vincent Kaplan told the court that the onetime Spears spouse doesn't want to ex his ex out of their children's lives but asked, "What are we do to?"
Kiley seemingly had a solution to improve Spears' attendance record at the drug lab: Give the pop star six hours to comply with a request, instead of the current 60 minutes.
Los Angeles Superior Court Commissioner Scott Gordon said one hour was the standard and that Spears should be held to it.
Gordon settled the phone number matter by requiring Spears to pick one, and stick with it, at least as far as her contact at the drug lab is concerned. He put off deciding on a new Federline request—that Spears not be allowed to drive around with her sons in tow—until the next scheduled hearing on Nov. 26.
If Gordon's general message to Spears was that she's not special, the general message from Spears' camp was that, oh, yes, she is. When Gordon noted that even court officials like himself have to go to work early every morning, Kiley responded, "You're not a pop star with a number one album."
Well, actually, as of the latest Nielsen SoundScan figures, Spears is a pop star with a number two album.
But nonetheless...
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