Vieira's "View" Adieu
If Meredith Vieira was expecting the sort of teary, heartfelt goodbye afforded her Today show predecessor Katie Couric, well, the joke was on her.
The lead talking head on the estrogen-powered morning show bid farewell to her fellow cohosts and longtime viewers Friday, ending her nine-year, 2,000-show stint on the chatfest as the butt of a celebrity roast.
"As the saying goes," de facto roast master Barbara Walters said at the show's start, "you only roast the ones you love.
"You are a wonderful, highly emotional person who breaks into tears at the drop of a hat...When that alarm clock goes off at four in the morning, you'll really have something to cry about."
Joy Behar, Star Jones Reynolds, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Joan Rivers, Mario Cantone, Gilbert Gottfried and Kelsey Grammer all joined in on the razzing of the Today show-bound Vieira, who's set to join America's self-proclaimed first family this September.
For her part, Vieira remained virtually tear-free during the diss-heavy send-off, which reveled in Vieira's most embarrassing and kooky moments, including a montage of well-intentioned Halloween costumes, on-screen "romances" with guests Tom Selleck, Drew Carey and Richard Simmons, and shared smooches with fellow View gals Behar and Hasselbeck.
Which didn't stop with the clip show.
"I miss you already and I just don't know how to express it," Behar said at the podium. "And I thought to myself, 'What would Rosie O'Donnell do?' " The resident comedian than planted a wet one on her departing pal.
The biggest digs, though, came courtesy of Rivers and Cantone.
"They said I should only say nice things so I'm gonna be very brief," Rivers said, who left Vieira with a bit of advice for her new gig. "Just remember when you're interviewing Dick Cheney, no animal prints."
Cantone's quips, meanwhile, received the only boos from the crowd with his dig: "Star Jones has lost 150 pounds. Now the show is getting rid of the rest of its dead weight."
He then moved on to poking fun at Vieira's successor, O'Donnell, who's set to take over the vacated seat this fall.
"Rosie O'Donnell was supposed to start next week but she couldn't get out of her summer softball commitments."
The funny farewell also was heavy on references to Vieira's new employer.
"We just hope that given your drinking habit, you'll be able to tell Today from tomorrow," Walters said.
"Matt Lauer will never say, 'Does my tie make me look fat?' " Rivers added.
Vieira, an Emmy-winning journalist in her pre-View days, offered some retaliatory roasting of her own as she took the podium.
"This feels like a funeral," Vieira said, comparing her exit to that of Couric's blowout last week. "This is my farewell tribute? I wanted George Clooney. I got Gilbert Gottfried."
But the hourlong farewell wasn't wholly without sentiment. Vieira thanked Jones and Hasselbeck--a pair who otherwise seemed incidental to the affair--and then moved on the show's matriarch, Walters.
"You've opened so many doors for me," she said. "I have every confidence that you'll slam them behind me."
The farewell also included a serenade from Michael Feinstein, who sang "Rhode Island Is Famous for You" in honor of the native Rhode Islander.
"I do not want to get emotional," Vieira said. "I simply want to say thanks. I love you all."
The quintet closed off the show with a champagne toast, with Vieira issuing the signature send-off for the last time, "Take some time to enjoy the view."
Vieira returns to the airwaves this September, joining Matt Lauer, Al Roker and Ann Curry as the newest member of the Today show.
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