"Idol" Returns, Paula's Eye Burns

Mere hours before American Idol's triumphant return to network television, Paula Abdul was nowhere to be seen.

The "Forever Your Girl" singer begged off a Television Critics Association press conference with her fellow judges, Simon Cowell and Randy Jackson on Tuesday, after complaining of an eye infection.

Her absence aroused suspicions that she was trying to avoid facing questions about the Corey Clark scandal that dogged her for a good part of last season, particularly since she appeared perfectly healthy during an appearance on Monday's Tonight Show.

When asked what could have befallen her eye in the interim, Cowell cracked, "It fell out."

Predictably, Abdul's rep had a slightly different explanation, stating that Abdul sought treatment from a doctor after suffering a "really bad reaction to something" that caused "tearing...and itching" and prevented her from attending any Golden Globe parties Monday night.

By Tuesday morning, the offending eye was "red and swollen," and presumably less than camera-ready, forcing Abdul to skip the conference and leave herself vulnerable to Cowell's quips, against her better judgment.

"Letting Simon anywhere near the press where he can talk about me without me being able to defend myself is not something I would ever let happen unless I really had to!" Abdul said in a statement Wednesday. "I am on the mend and so excited to be back with my incredible--but dysfunctional family--and everyone at Fox our best season of Idol yet."

Luckily for Abdul, she wasn't required to appear live on the debut of Idol's fifth season, which featured two hours of pre-taped auditions in Chicago.

As usual, the mix of aspiring Idols ranged from talented to truly terrible. One contestant arrived showed up dressed as the Statue of Liberty and sang "New York, New York," another arrived in his deputy sheriff's uniform to perform--what else--"I Shot the Sheriff." (Neither made it past the judges.)

The show's return averaged a whopping 35.5 million viewers, giving Idol its highest rated premiere to date and Fox its best numbers for an entertainment program ever. In fact, the premiere was the most watched entertainment telecast on any network since the 2004 series finale of Friends.

The second half of the season premiere, featuring the Denver auditions, airs Wednesday night.

With Idol kicking off its fifth season, we're guessing it won't be long before controversy of some sort rocks the talent search, whether it be allegations of an untoward affair or a contestant's unearthed criminal record.

Kelly Clarkson, season one's winner, has already laid the groundwork for conflict with the show that launched her career by refusing to allow her songs to be performed by Idol contestants.

A spokesman for Clarkson's record label denied that the ban on her material was anything personal against Idol and said that the "Since U Been Gone" singer was not permitting any of her songs to be licensed for other uses.

Nonetheless, Cowell lashed out at Clarkson, accusing her of "ignoring the audience" responsible for her fame.

Clarkson, whose sophomore album, Breakaway, landed a Grammy nomination for Best Pop Vocal album, did not respond to Cowell's attack.

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