It might have started with a bang, but Loofahgate is ending with a whimper.

The lawyer for Fox News' top talker, Bill O'Reilly, has announced that a settlement has been reached with Andrea Mackris, the O'Reilly Factor associate producer who accused him of sexual harassment.

"On a personal note, this matter has caused enormous pain, but I had to protect my family and I did," he said on his show Thursday. "This brutal ordeal is now officially over, and I will never speak of it again."

In a written statement released earlier in the day, Ronald Green, the attorney for the No-Spin Zone guru, said that "the Parties regret that this matter has caused tremendous pain, and they have agreed to settle."

"All cases and claims have been withdrawn and all Parties have agreed there was no wrongdoing whatsoever by Mr. O'Reilly, Ms. Mackris or Ms. Mackris' counsel, Benedict P. Morelli," Green's statement read.

"Out of respect for their families and privacy, all Parties and their representatives have agreed that all information relating to the cases shall remain confidential."

Which means the world will never know the truth about O'Reilly's alleged affinity for loofahs.

The two sides have been working on the settlement for several days. A deal was said to be close last Friday.

Mackris and Fox News had actually been hashing out a settlement weeks ago before making their beefs public, but the 33-year-old accuser reportedly rejected a $2 million offer to make the allegations go away.

Now, the New York Daily News reports the deal exceeds the $2 million figure and could be upwards of $10 million.

After the settlement talks broke down earlier this month, O'Reilly launched a preemptive suit Oct. 13, accusing Mackris and her attorney of trying to extort $60 million in exchange for dropping the complaint. "So, this morning I had to file a lawsuit against some people who are demanding $60 million or they will 'punish' me and Fox News. Sixty million," O'Reilly said the day the suit was filed.

Hours later, Mackris filed her own salacious suit, seeking $60 million from Fox News and O'Reilly.

In her X-rated lawsuit, Mackris accused the married O'Reilly of regaling her with tales of his sexual conquests and fantasizing about the two of them taking a Caribbean vacation together, where O'Reilly could break out the aforementioned loofah and work his magic as the two of them showered. He also recommended she buy a vibrator, per the complaint, so she could enjoy phone sex with him.

She later amended her filing to claim that Fox News had fired her from her $93,000-a-year gig at the cable channel in retaliation for her lawsuit.

News of the settlement comes a day before the two sides were due back in court to wrangle over the issue of whether the conversations between Mackris and O'Reilly were recorded.

Although no one has confirmed the existence of such recordings, Fox lawyers believed Mackris had tapes of her reputed sex chats with O'Reilly due to the amount of detail revealed in her court documents (the juiciest portions of the complaint can be seen online at The Smoking Gun).

O'Reilly's side claimed the tapes would prove he was entrapped. Of course, such tapes could also prove hugely embarrassing for the right-wing icon and his network base. And if Mackris prevailed in court, the damage to the "fair and balanced" net and its star commentator might not be reparable.

Even though O'Reilly Factor ratings actually went up in the wake of Mackris' bombshell filing, both Fox News and O'Reilly were chagrined by the charges. The usually outspoken O'Reilly initially vowed to fight, but he soon clammed up in public and canceled several promotional appearances for his new parental advice book, The O'Reilly Factor for Kids.

Good thing he left out the chapter on loofahs.

(Originally published Oct. 28, 2004 at 4:45 p.m. PT)