The Awful Truth

Sure is skanky here at the Awful Truth today, love-muffins, so if Jamie Foxx and Ryan Gosling's dubious dude doings don't make yer jaw drop, I'm sure Dewbie Stammer in this week's orally fixated Blind Vice will surely do the trick! Jamie Foxx must be takin’ a page from the Dina Lohan school of parenting as of late. The Oscar-winning actor hit an exclusive members-only bash at Club PM with his tweenage daughter, Corrine, Tuesday night in New Yawk. Even though it was a semiposh happening, sundry onlookers were surprised by Corrine’s clothing choices. “She had on a wife-beater with no bra, ripped jeans and flip-flops,” dished one reveler.

Uh, this babe’s, what, 11?

Papa Jamie was appropriately dapper in a black tux but was too busy with a groupie to be bothered by C’s possible fashion faux pas. ‘Course, it’s prolly what the young Foxx-er wanted to wear, what with hussy-chic being so in. But where was the papa who ain’t exactly known for turnin’ away the daring-attired variety himself? “He was making out with a random groupie right in front of her, like it was normal!” hissed our stunned witness. How very Bruce Willis of Jamie! Or Britney Spears, for that smooching parental matter. For the record, Corrine didn’t seem particularly bothered by her dad’s spit-swappin' sesh. Maybe it really is the status quo? There was also a mini Black Eyed Peas reunion, as Fergie and Will.I.Am were hangin’ at a nearby table at the same haunt. Fergie-Ferg looked “all kinds of out of it,” snipped Desk Saliva, while Will wasn’t content to let Mr. Foxx be the only bad boy in the room. He was spotted mashing mouths with a random gaga-chicker of his own. So there, Jamie, see what you started?

I only wonder what Corrine’s gonna get up to in no time flat.

Ryan Gosling is trying really hard to lose his hottie/heartthrob status. Although tons o’ teenage girls surely have posters from The Notebook plastered on their walls, we bet they won’t be flockin’ in droves to see Lars and the Real Girl, the Oscar-nominated hunk's latest flick. In this mucho dark, twisted love tale, R.G. plays a hideously shy, bumbling dude who orders a doll off the Internet and starts believing she’s his real girlfriend. Ry sports a serious beard and bad hair in the movie, and he looks completely undoable throughout the entire damn thing, which was so not the case in Half Nelson, trust. Rachel McAdams, sleep easy knowing that no femmes will be drooling over your ex this time around. Was that the point, Mr. Reluctant Heartthrob? You from the same shy school Jake Gyllenhaal is always jonesin’ in? Oh, remember that Laura Bush fancy femme BFF Debbie Francis I mentioned yesterday? What, you expected the First Lady to be bestest amigas with a chick named Griselda? Ain’t gonna happen. So, as I said, Ms. B is looking to build a new home away from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue (and Dubya, too, some say) in the Big D, my hometown. Well, I’m here to tell ya Laura-love has found the right right-wing zealot clan to befriend. See, the Francises and I have mutual friends. Very close mutual buds. And guess what Deb’s married half, Jim, lives to do to folks who drive onto his property? Well, if they’re Democrats and if they just happen to have a bumper sticker that proclaims a name such as, oh, say...Clinton, Mr. Francis, I am told, rips off the sticker.

So typical of these elephant types: Outta sight is outta mind, right? I’ll say. (And what rude manners for a golf-club-up-his-butt southerner, I’m shocked!)

Montblanc is debuting its special-edition Marlene Dietrich pen at the 24 Hour Plays on Broadway this October, American Airlines Theatre. Sexlicious hons such as Julia Stiles, Mariska Hargitay and Elizabeth Berkley are participating. So, in honor of the event and Dietrich’s legs, I asked my fave Showgirls prance-tart whom she found to be the sexiest female writer in history. "Arianna Huffington,” she answered, stunning yours truly. I mean, I could see Gloria Steinem or Virginia Woolf or even Nicole Richie. But Huffington! “She is an extraordinary woman who allows women to see their potential,” Berkley ‘splained. “The way she empowers others and articulates the truth is sexy!" Okay, Liz. Whatever you say. But gimme some Jackie Collins smut any day. Find out or, rather, figure out which kinda dorky semistud has a hankering for other guys—in public! Read today's Blind Vice for the raunchy deets, already!