Robots, Robots, Robots!

Wed., Jun. 11, 2003 3:30 PM PDT by Joal Ryan

So, you wanna star in the movies. We got one question for you, kid: Are you a robot?

You made of nuts? Bolts? Your eyelids go "Clang!" when you blink? Yeah? Give us a call. Have we got a project for you. Make that projects--plural.

How's The Transformers grab you? What about something called Robots? Or, the old standby I, Robot?

Truth be told, The Transformers looks like the best showcase for your mechanized self.

As pitched by the producer of Natural Born Killers (Don Murphy) and the executive producer of X-Men and X2: X-Men United (Tom DeSanto), The Transformers will be a live-action version of the Hasbro toy line/animated series.

Hear that: Live action! Who they gonna get to play Optimus Prime? Patrick Stewart? A little stiff, maybe, but he's no robot--that's where you come in, kid.

According to Wednesday's Hollywood Reporter, Hasbro's on board with Murphy and DeSanto's "creative take." Now, all the guys need is a studio. The trade paper says they'll be looking for one shortly. Also needed: A director and screenwriter.

DeSanto's already at work on the story. No details yet, but it sounds like it'll cover basic Transformers territory, first mapped out in the original 1985 TV series: Good Autobots versus bad Decepticons.

Cybertron's clans were first given the big-screen treatment in the 1986 feature-length 'toon, The Transformers--The Movie. They're currently seen on the Cartoon Network in their umpteenth little-screen series, Transformers Armada. And, of course, they're still seen on toy shelves.

Now, the trick, of course, to being a Transformer is that you have to transform into something--preferably a tank, a big machine gun or something cool like that.

If you're the kind of robot that's more at home shooting one-liners than rapid-fire ammunition rounds, we suggest you put a call into the director of Robots.

Chris Wedge, who helmed the 2002 CGI hit, Ice Age, says the virtual stars of his new computer-generated flick will "ooze" personality.

"The robots aren't futuristic or spacey transformers," Wedge tells USA Today.

Bingo!

Now, Robots is already in production--has been for a couple of months now. But it wasn't until Monday at the Licensing International trade show in New York City that Fox and Wedge's Blue Sky Studios formally unveiled the project.

The film is scheduled for a March 2005 release.

Unfortunately, kid, just as with The Transformers, there's a potential obstacle to your getting cast in Robots: Wedge is looking for names. Big names.

Ewan McGregor has signed on to provide lead vocals as Rodney Copperbottom, the idealistic, genius robot who dreams of doing good with do-gooding robots. Mel Brooks will shout out lines for Big Weld, the corporate bigwig who looms as Rodney's chief nemesis. Halle Berry's Oscar-winning voice will matched to Cappy, the curvy robot who makes mechanized moves on our hero.

Others in the Robots ranks: Amanda Bynes, Jamie Kennedy, Stanley Tucci and Dianne Wiest. Burger King, Kellogg's and Mattel are also on board, but they'll stick to rolling out the tie-in products.

And we're afraid time is running out for you with the final robot movie. Will Smith started shooting the live-action I, Robot, based on the Isaac Asimov short-story collection, in May in Canada. Bridget Moynahan and Boston Public's Chi McBride costar.

Set for a summer 2004 release, the film is a look at the not-too-distant future where robots serve as invaluable helpmates to everyday humans--like, maybe, welders, chimney sweeps and screenwriters.

You know--sort of like today.