Quitting Time for "The Osbournes"?

A.J. Benza said it best: "Fame. Ain't it a bitch?"

And Sharon Osbourne's answer to that would be an unequivocal "yes," as the matriarch of TV's most infamous reality family tells 20/20's Barbara Walters that she and her heavy-metal brood won't do a third season of their popular MTV show, because the cameras have become too intrusive.

"We agreed to do the show and so the cameras are here all the time," cancer-stricken Sharon tells Babs in a sitdown that airs on ABC's 20/20 Wednesday at 10 p.m. ET/PT. "So it's a little bit invasive right now, and we have no privacy. You know when you're sick, you want to be on your own? I can't throw up on my own, and Ozzy can't get drunk on his own."

Ozzy might be ready to yell "Shaaar-onnnnn!" over that last comment, which is an official confirmation that her alcoholic hubby has once again started knocking back the libations due to her ongoing battle with colon cancer.

During the Walters tell-all, Sharon also laments the fact that her teen children--Kelly of the multi-hued hair and wannabe playboy Jack--have become so famous that they now have their own attorneys and managers.

And that's what led to the decision to make the upcoming second season The Osbournes' last. Season two debuts on MTV on November 26 with coverage of Sharon's cancer treatment and the family's newly adopted teen son, Robert.

"Because it's a moment in time, when we were innocent to it all, we went in feet first and you can't recreate that," she tells Babs. "Yes, now, this [second season], people will see what the first [season] has done to our lives, and it will take people to the next stage. But after that, it's over."

Or is it?

Apparently not, because, after word of Sharon's 20/20 statements leaked to MTV honcho Van Toffler, he phoned Sharon. He says she told him, "You know you can't believe everything I say."

Sharon then issued another statement saying she will fulfill the 20-episode contract the family has with MTV, which means 10 new episodes this fall, and 10 more next year. Says the contrite Osbourne: "I love my MTV."

"She was probably having a difficult time and she was venting in the moment," Toffler says of the 20/20 hubbub. "I've developed sort of an iron stomach because of Sharon Osbourne's volatility. I'm accustomed to this, and perhaps the rest of the country isn't."

Meow!

Anyhoo, the country will become accustomed to the next wave of The Osbournes' seemingly unyielding marketing blitz, which kicks off tonight with the MTV special Catching Up with the Osbournes (10 p.m.). ABC also announced on Monday that Ozzy and company have signed up to host the network's live (censors be damned!) January 13 telecast of the American Music Awards.

There's also a glut of Osbournes merch on store shelves (who wouldn't want to wake up on Christmas morning and find a stocking stuffed with Osbournes air fresheners and antenna toppers?).

Kelly Osbourne's solo CD, Shut Up!, drops on November 26 and the DVD box set of The Osbournes season one (sans that *#@% bleeping!) has been slated for a March 4 release.

Yep, fame's a bitch. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't milk while you can...

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