Hydrant-sized Verne Troyer has a big beef with the way life’s been treating him, namely due to the release of a unauthorized sex tape featuring Mini Me and his maxi-squeeze (ex-maxi-squeeze, to be correct, decidedly nondwarf fox Ranae Shrider) engaged in the kind of action you’d normally see in a tent in Tijuana. As bummed Verne told E! News exclusively, “I feel like I have no privacy. Just because people are seeing something that was meant to be between me and her.”

No privacy? This is the guy who showed up on The Surreal Life so drunk he ended up naked in bed making noises that sounded like a pelican in a K-hole dying of emphysema while he pawed Chris Knight’s buffed up (or is it out?) chest. After which the irrepressible little man rode his scooter drunkenly around the house, pausing only to take a great big wee-wee on the floor.

And as for that tape, “between me and her"? Right on, V.T. Everybody knows homemade celeb porn is of no interest to the general public and never gets out of your personal sock drawer.