Afternoon Fix: Have You Been Missing Angelina?

Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie Eric Charbonneau/WireImage.com

Angelina Jolie is set to make her triumphant return to the world this October looking “kind of classic with a rock and roll edge," according to her stylist. Who's excited?!

See, we knew the Jonas Brothers wouldn't let some purity-ring jokes ruin their night. Why was everyone else so sensitive (cough, Jordin Sparks)?

Ashton Kutcher is working as assistant football coach at private prep school, which will hopefully be more successful than his latest venture.

Hilary Duff's dad is pulling a Michael Lohan. Come to think of it, Haylie Duff's been pulling an Ali her whole life, so maybe Hilary will pull a Lindsay and then the whole family can pull a Dina. Wow, too much Lohan, sorry.

No one heeded our plea to save Jenny Humphrey yesterday, and she's continuing her downward spiral.

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