Charlie Sheen's Sober Valley Lodge on the Market (Goddesses Not Included)

Newly unemployed actor is seeking $7.2 million for his infamous bachelor pad

Neighbors, beware. Buyer, too: Charlie Sheen's infamous pad is yours for the taking.

It hopefully goes without saying that any would-be owners will want to give the so-dubbed Sober Valley Lodge a thorough once-over before moving in (we're all for eco-friendly around here, but if ever a job was built for industrial-strength chemicals, it's this one), but for any non-squeamish millionaires who can look past the indiscretions of the home's previous owner, this place ain't half bad.

So how much is Sheen asking for the abode?

A cool $7.2 million.

Hey, he's unemployed now—he's got to get cash somehow, right? So what's in it for the new owner?

According to the listing, the 7,924-square-foot Beverly Hills pad—described as a "Spectacular Celebrity Home!"—boasts five bedrooms and seven baths, along with a breakfast area, library, office in which to keep your machete swords, separate guest/maid's/goddesses quarters, hardwood and marble floors throughout, and a three-car garage (a must for any ménage à trois…or someone whose cars have a penchant for falling off cliffs).

It also features three fireplaces, in the family, living and master bedrooms, and has a private pool, spa, tennis court and patio, which provides the perfect setting on which to hold impromptu press conferences. Or, you know, host some friends and family.

"This custom-built Mediterranean home in Mulholland Estates is an entertainer's dream with spacious public rooms, most of which open to a beautifully landscaped yard featuring a professional outdoor kitchen with dining area, pool and spa," the listing reads. "Other features include a screening room and top-of-the-line appliances and finishes."

Sounds like it's got everything—though your own personal rotating roster of goddesses is sadly not included.

—Reporting by Claudia Rosenbaum