Mathew Imaging/WireImageYou can't keep this Warlock locked down. For better or worse.
In an open letter to Two and a Half Men creator Chuck Lorre, Charlie Sheen has penned another take down against the producer, this time calling him an "a--hole pussy loser" and a "low rent, nutless sociopath" for trying to reboot the hit CBS sitcom show without Sheen.
Take it away, Charlie...
"Good luck Chuck," Sheen began in the missive. "My fans may tune in for a minute but at the end of the day, no one cares about your feeble show without me. Shame on you. Not even a phone call to the man that put you on the map." The man that put 500 million dollars in your pocket."
(Maybe Charlie forgot Lorre did pretty well for himself before Sheen came along? After all, Lorre's résumé includes producing such sitcoms as Grace under Fire, Cybill, Dharma & Greg.)
Sheen's tirade comes in the wake of a report that Lorre has come up with an idea to retool the show for its upcoming ninth season sans Sheen. Per the Hollywood Reporter, Lorre has met with costar Jon Cryer about expanding his role and is mulling the possibility of adding a new character to the mix.
The producer is also said to be adamant that Sheen's firing is final, even if it means the show doesn't return next year, despite intense lobbying by Sheen, both in public and private, to get his old job back.
We're not quite sure how Sheen's latest attack helps his cause—or the $100 million lawsuit he's filed against Lorre and Warner Bros. TV, which produces Men for CBS.
"You were on your way out of Warner Bros. with a buy out and a cup of cold coffee in your shaky and clammy hands. And then I walked into your office," Sheen rants in the letter. "And you created a show BASED ON MY AWESOME LIFE. I busted my ass for 8 years to support your vision. Your dream. In turn, it is my nightmare.
"You sad silly fool. A-hole p-ssy loser. Put on the gloves you low rent, nut-less sociopath," continued Sheen. "I'll beat your chicken sh-t soul in a court room into a state of gratitude. A state of surrender."
And if that wasn't bad enough, Sheen also took a shot at Lorre's parenting skills.
"Wow, I'm sure your children are SO PROUD of you. You can teach 'em how to be a stupid bitch. A narcissist. A coward. A loser. A spineless rat," Charlie sarcastically suggested.
Sheen concluded with yet another blast of Network-inspired outrage.
"I'm out here with my fans every night. The message is crystal clear; NO CHARLIE SHEEN. NO SHOW," he fumed. "And that's exactly what it will be for you and your desperate vanity cards, every Monday night, a no-show. The ratings right now are not a fluke. It's a big fat mess. A 2.0 demo? That sucks. Almost as bad as you. You've been warned. Reap the whirl-wind you cockroach, reap it."
Sheen's rep was unavailable to weigh in on the offensive. There was also no immediate comment from Lorre or his rep. Perhaps a response via vanity card is in the offing?