Lindsay Lohan Opens Up: "I've Learned to Love Myself"

In her first late-night interview in ages, actress admits to making "poor decisions," says she know she has a long way to go to get back the respect she lost

By Natalie Finn Apr 27, 2011 4:45 AMTags

Lindsay Lohan helped Jimmy Kimmel hump it out not that long ago, but she hasn't been on a late-night couch in ages.

This time, however, in making her return to The Tonight Show, she actually had to talk about herself, warts and all.

And Jay Leno actually honed in on the warts and asked all sorts of good questions.

While talking about how she scored what is going to be known as her comeback role, whether she likes it or not, the former child star recalled meeting the late John Gotti when she was 3.

"That could be why you're in so much trouble now," Leno quipped.

"Oh, thank you," Lohan smiled. "I've been waiting for that to come up."

And it never really let up after that.

"I've made a lot of poor decisions in the past and I'm dealing with the consequences of those decisions," Lohan said when asked if she reached a point where she really thought the phone might stop ringing. "So yeah, there were times when I was concerned, but I'm a fighter and I know that I have to work to gain the respect back."

Sure enough, according to Gotti producer Marc Fiore, she fought her way back into the mafioso biopic as Junior Gotti's wife after losing the part of John Gotti's daughter.

"And I'm willing to do the work that I have to do to follow through with being an actress," Lohan added.

"I feel like I've let a lot of my fans down by putting myself in situations when I was young and wasn't thinking clearly," she said. "I really just want to be the person that I aspire to be, and be the actress, and be in this industry and make movies and do what I love to do, and bring characters to life that people can relate to. And my fans have been really supportive of me doing that."

Leno told her that Jane Fonda, a recent guest on the show and Lohan's costar in Georgia Rules, called her one of the best young actresses she's worked with.

"That's amazing, coming from her," Lohan said, perhaps doing a quick comparison to Betty White in her mind. "Being young and being in the position that  I was in, you don't really take the time to appreciate what you have, and it's all kind of a whirlwind and people make decisions for you. But I'm not a kid anymore, I'm 24, I've made a lot of mistakes and I recognize that.

"But I'm in the clear now, and as long as I stay focused, I will achieve what I want to achieve."

Alas, a 120-day jail sentence that's currently on hold while her lawyer (who, incidentally, is married to a member of the Tonight Show Band) appeals and 480 hours of community service are standing in the way of an entirely clean slate.

"Because the case is still pending I can't really say much, but I was kind of shocked," Lohan said, referring to the jail sentence for probation violation. "I didn't really expect the outcome to be what it was. But I'm a big girl and I'm going to do what I'm told to do, and that's what I have to do to continue on with working in my life. I'm taking responsibility."

When asked if she thought she'd been treated fairly, she said she was "treated the way I should be treated."

Not that she wants to go back to jail!

"It was an interesting experience," she said of the time she's spent locked up. "It was definitely a wake-up call. When it happened...Everything happens for a reason."

Lohan says that being sentenced to another 120 days was "definitely a bit shocking. I was kind of numb."

But she'll see what happens. Leno also asked about her current support system, considering her "odd childhood."

"Interesting," Lohan corrected him. "My mom's amazing, she's really strong. My sister's here with me...I have good people in my life," she insisted.

What about dad Michael Lohan? Leno asked.

"Am I supposed to respond?" Lindsay replied. "Because I'm not going to. I plead the Fifth on that!"

Leno also asked about Lohan's seemingly dormant love life.

"You always bring the love life question up!" she protested. "I don't have one right now...I used to not like to be alone, but I really value my alone time now. That happens as you grow up, you cherish the time when you can just sit by yourself...I've learned to love myself."

One other thing Leno asked Lohan, who first appeared on The Tonight Show when was 12, was where she'd like to be six years from now, when she's 30.

"Hopefully sitting her after I've won an Oscar," she replied. "That would be ideal."