So. Many. Questions.
Just how fat is that cat? Why is Mariah Carey frolicking fully clothed in the ocean? What silky beast, exactly, is attacking her legs? What possessed her to try and bring DayGlo bell bottoms back? When has she ever in her life donned a polo shirt?
And, most importantly, what on earth were those Saudi Photoshoppers thinking?
First things first: censorship in Saudi Arabia is strict. We get it. (And we hope they've already moved to block Courtney Love's Twitter feed.) But the Middle Eastern nation has taken its suppression of Mimi's oft-speculated-upon form to dizzying new heights (or is that mind-bending new lows?), leading to some unintentionally hilarious images.
Bottom line: if you're gonna censor, at least censor well.
But while the manipulation of Mariah's album covers in the name of modesty isn't exactly new news, the fact that someone took the time to lay them out in handy comparison form is. Behold, the high lowlights:
• #1s: Where once Mariah donned a strapless, short dress and open-toed heels, the heavy-handed censors tricked her out in a t-shirt dress with inexplicable ruching, neon pants that appear to be taken from Cher's wardrobe circa 1968, and, just 'cause, cropped her toes out of the frame. Apparently, open toes = raunch city.
• Butterfly: The least amount of changes. Though Mariah's tummy- (and tummy-chain) baring tube top was replaced none too seamlessly by a midriff- and shoulder-covering t-shirt.
• Emotions: At this point, the PhotoShopper may have been getting tired. Or lazy. For whatever reason, rather than bother with actually changing Mariah's white sleeveless dress outfit, they simply added enough shade to the shot to virtually black out everything but the left side of her face. Efficient!
• Glitter: Clearly, the person in charge here has a vendetta against New York, as they replaced her diamante-studded and artfully shredded "I Heart NY" top with a polo-style collared and cuffed shirt. The glittery heart mercifully remained in place, though "I" and "NY" were given the chop. Or is that 'shop?
• The Emancipation of Mimi: Um, yeah. The weird silky one-leg flared jumpsuit was bad enough already. The second gam-covering one is really overkill.
• Album art: Apparently, getting shown in a wet t-shirt is more modest than getting shown in a bikini. Who knew?
• Now about that cat: Surely it's better to bare Mariah's shoulders than promote this type of unnatural morbid pet obesity. Is there a way to put a cat's front paws on a diet?
OK, PhotoshopDisasters. Time to start clearing some room on your hard drive.