Greed is good. Here's hoping chemo is better.
Michael Douglas, making his first public appearance since revealing he's battling throat cancer, told David Letterman today that "expectations are good" and "the percentages are very good" that he'll beat this thing.
"I would hate to say," said the star of the upcoming Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps, "but right now, it looks like it should be 80 percent, and with certain hospitals and everything, it does improve."
And we imagine that Douglas, who just finished his first week of radiation and chemo, has been to the best.
"We found out about it three weeks ago—just when I found out I was gonna be on your show," Douglas joked to the Late Show host.
"No, there can't possibly be a medical connection!" Letterman insisted.
"I couldn't resist," the Oscar winner replied, laughing. Douglas, though seemingly thinner than usual, sounded like his normal self and he still boasts a thick head of white hair, making him look more like dad Kirk Douglas than ever.
When Letterman inquired why he still sounded so good, Douglas deadpanned, "Because I'm on stage. Because Kirk would...you know, he'd say, ‘Son, you gotta look good. You never know when you might have cancer.'"
"Believe me," he added, gesturing downward, "this is the first week and the progression goes down."
Douglas, 65, said that he was bothered by a sore throat earlier this summer and, despite undergoing a variety of tests, doctors didn't find anything. Then, after "a great summer despite other personal adversities," another doc took a biopsy and diagnosed Stage 4 cancer.
"That's intense, so they gotta go at it," he said. The chemo "knocks you out really hard."
"But the big thing you're always worried about is it spreading. I am head and neck, above the neck, so nothing's gone down and expectations are good," Douglas added carefully. "It is going to cut into the foreign promotional tour for Wall Street, to say the least."
When Dave asked if the doctors found the cancer "earlier enough for their liking," Douglas replied, "I sure as s--t hope so."
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Douglas' Wall Street 2 costars, Carrie Mulligan and Shia LaBeouf, were Snapped on Set canoodling. Aw.