When you take your financial planning cues from Octomom, you know you're in it deep.
Such is the latest humiliation facing Stephen Baldwin, whose fans set up a website back in January seeking monetary donations to aid in "The Restoration of Stephen Baldwin."
So, how's it going? Put it this way: He's in no danger of popping up on any Forbes rich lists anytime soon.
Though it's difficult to tell which has taken the bigger hit—his wallet or his ego. Here's the deal...
As the site poetically relays, back in the early '00s, Baldwin became a born-again Christian. He also became virtually unemployable, as his convictions precluded him from taking any jobs that featured sex or violence. Enter bankruptcy. And then the brainchild of Baldwin's fans.
According to the site's Q&A, Baldwin needs money because "without it you are a loser" (seriously) and he needs it to restore his "influence in Hollywood." To the tune of several million dollars.
Unfortunately for Baldwin, after four months in operation, the site has yet to reach the $100 mark.
Adding insult to injury what was already pretty deep insult, the site is asking each would-be donor for just $4.21, in honor of the Job 42:10-11 Bible verse, which sees Job restored by the people. Hence, the people's (not so yeoman) attempt at The Restoration of Stephen Baldwin.
Sadly, the math doesn't lie and the people don't seem all that into restoring him: in four months' time, fewer than 20 people have donated. And possibly much fewer, since the owner of the site hasn't put an exact figure on the intake.
Baldwin himself has nothing to do with the site, though his spiritual advisor turned president of Stephen's ministries (oh, yes), Daniel Southern, gave written permission for the endeavor to begin.
The actual mastermind is Lyn Fletcher, a Florida-based Christian businessman.
"Lyn wanted to generate a mass movement where people would help restore Stephen Baldwin financially," Southern told E! News. "The one misperception is that Stephen is out there with his hand out. That's not the case. This is someone else trying to bless Stephen. He felt compassion for Stephen's financial problems."
And sympathy.
According to the site, Fletcher said he got the idea after the public ridicule of Baldwin didn't let up.
"A simple search through the internet will reveal that people not only mock Stephen, but mock God."
In fairness, the Internet mocks everything. And Baldwin's run of bad publicity began way before he went broke. Or religious.
Still, for anyone who has some spare cash lying around and feels in a giving mood (and wants to donate to a real worthwhile cause, like a down-and-out movie star and not, oh, say, more than a million still-needy Haitians), donations are still being accepted.
Oh, and kudos to whoever put that video together. It's by far the best thing Baldwin's been in for years.
—Additional reporting by Whitney English
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Baldwin, shmaldwin. Check out which celebs are really doing good work in our celebrity Do-Gooder gallery.