The Awful Truth

British GQ

Dear Ted:
Nicole Kidman told GQ she is into "strange sexual fetish stuff." She's always been pretty reserved about her life, and now she is giving Angelina a run for her money. Too bad it's 10 years too late and no one cares about her anymore. She used to be so classy, why is she so desperate?
—Mole

Dear Always a Reason:
Australia was a bomb, largely because of Nic. Maybe now that she's being pooh-pooh'd as a serious actress (which is insane; she used to be one of best before she got lost on Bewitched Boulevard) she's trying to reinvent herself. I think she should go a different route. Like letting her forehead do what it damn well wants, for starters.

Dear Ted:
Have you ever been "used" by a source to get a false story out there without you knowing it? Has it ever occurred to you that Deep Twi is actually on the Summit payroll to "leak" these juicy details? Personally, couldn't care less if they're really a couple or not—they both need acting lessons. But have you ever in the past been bamboozled?
—SarahT

Dear Trick or Treat:
Good question. Fair one, too. But trust, Deep Twi is about as legit as you're gonna get. And a friend (so that's why I know).

Dear Ted:
Is there any way you can put up a separate "area" where the New Moon/Kristen Stewart/Robert Pattinson posters can analyze, dissect and argue separately from the rest of us? It is becoming too much to slog through all their turmoil.
—Polly

Dear Lights Out:
Everyone finds different gossip appealing. Unfortunately, the majority seem to be demanding all things Twilight. How about you read the stories and bypass the comment section? Or we'll work extra hard getting you some different yummy stuff, m'K?

Dear Ted:
I know you're not a big One Tree Hill fan, but on this week's ep, Austin Nichols quoted the famous "I can't quit you!" line to another male character as a joke on a camping trip. I hope you find that as interesting as I do.
—MM

Dear Brokeback Nichols:
What's so interesting? I think I'm out on the joke.

Dear Ted:
You always refer to Robsten as not being together in the "conventional" sense. What does that mean?
—Rose

Dear Close Reader:
That's too long of a response for me to answer here. Nothing about Rob, Kristen or their courtship has been simple. And their relationship is no hey-let's-be-boyfriend-girlfriend-OK deal.

Dear Ted:
You used to say you like Jackles, but I barely see you update them recently. You didn't even put "real photos" of them there! I mean when they are really together after work, not the ones from red carpets or from Supernatural episode shoots! Are they really that boring to talk about? You know this duo probably won't last long. They said they both have girlfriends. One of them might just get married tomorrow who knows! So please give us something.

Dear Missed the Mark:
Honey, they're hardly boring! They just make it difficult for me to talk about them since they have so many well-guarded secrets.

Dear Ted:
Here is the word I would use to describe Nicole Kidman's GQ cover: tragic. You?
—Jasmolak

Dear One-Up Holmes:
Desperate and not sexy. Oops did you say one?

Dear Ted:
I can't help but think that Team Awful has noticed the lack of nastiness in my posts or Bitch-Back questions and appreciates that I always log in to express myself. I was pleased that the Jackson Rathbone fan was rewarded with a Bitch-Back answer. So let's try a similar type of thing: William Fichtner is talented, hot and always comes across well in interviews. Why aren't we hearing more about him?
—Diane

Dear Oldie and Kinda Goodie:
Wait, a minute, William who?

Dear Ted:
You say Robsten is not a publicity stunt; however, I just heard from a friend whose friend is the publicist for one of the other main castmembers (not R.Pattz or Kristen) it is all for publicity. Is she really lying?
—B

Dear New Sources:
Sorry, but if it were for publicity you would see them out at hockey games kissing on the big screen. Or out to dinners holding hands.

Dear Ted:
I don't understand why there is so much Kristen Stewart hate going around. She is different from other actresses because she doesn't crave the limelight, doesn't go clubbing and actually wants a private life. People beat her down because they say she has a bitchy attitude, but how would you feel if you had paps hounding you everyday, people overanalyzing and criticizing everything you did and having your appearance scrutinized? I love her because she is a breath of fresh air, and I just wish everyone would stop and look at her from a different view and not compare her to other actresses because that is not her.
—Faye

Dear No Hate Here:
Chalk that up to second-hand jealousy. The girl is always hated in her relationship with a heartthrob. It's rarely the other way around.

Dear Ted:
I mainly read your column for any news concerning R and K and cast. Sorry, I know I am a loser, but I feel that you may be the only one that does put out more truth than anyone else. I am always wondering if the two are OK through this whole mess. I read the comments and comment back to the ones that are so crazy and creepy to put it mildly. I just don't think it does any good because they are crazy and creepy. So I hit the "report" button. Maybe that will help you take those comments off your site—please help stop the craziness.
—Kriszo

Dear for Better or Worse:
There's no way it's easy—no matter what brave face they put on in interviews. Everyone's self-conscious, even Robsten have admitted insecurity. That's probably why they got so close so fast, because they're going through the same s--t together.

Dear Ted:
Please tell us all what your take is on the delish Josh Duhamel's naughty doings with that stripper? Is he really a player or faithful to Fergie? Also, I commiserate with you on the smoking. I just started again after being on the wagon for 17 years. Life sucked, and I puffed.
—Valerie

Dear Not So Fergalicious:
What can I say here? Let me put it this way: Fergie knew she wasn't marrying some lame-ass, boring, pretty dude when she got hitched to feisty Josh. She knows he likes to have fun, just like she does. And I didn't start smoking because life sucked. I started smoking because I wanted to. Let's quit the finger-pointing on everybody (including ourselves)—it's a little grade-school.

Dear Ted:
So I really love E!'s Chelsea Handler, but she could really lay off of K.Stew. I don't know if she realizes it, but she takes one quote from Kristen and twists it just like the haters on this board. It's a real turnoff and indicates that she has no clue what this girl goes through. Why not realize that Kristen likes to act but would also love to just go for a walk after filming? I would love to see Rob on Chelsea's show, and I think she likes him, but not Kristen. I don't think Chelsea realizes what it is like to be chased and scrutinized. Guess I should be writing her instead of you, huh?
—Erica

Dear Man Handler:
Chelsea takes no pity on anyone though—I wouldn't take her K.Stew words overly to heart.

Dear Ted:
Do you think Naomi Watts had any concerns when Liev Schreiber filmed Salt with Angelina Jolie? What kind of warnings do the men that work with Angelina receive from their wives or girlfriends? Liev doesn't seem to be her type anyway (but you can bet one of her future costars may be her next conquest!). Thanks.
—TJS

Dear Crushing Costar:
Too funny doll! Unfortunately A.J. wouldn't give up Brad for Liev. Think Brad 2.0 for her next target.

Dear Ted:
Rob and Kristen, how much is enough? Will it ever end? And as for the postings and the negative tone lately, it's because the 12-year-olds are out of control with their bizarre devotion to these two. I know there is other gossip out there, please stop being a PR guy for Summit.
—D-Denver

Dear Spin for Less:
Please, oh wise one, enlighten me on the untapped gossip?

Dear Ted:
I just don't think Tay Squared is fake, because it's not like any of them need the press or attention. But what do I know, you know ?
—Tay.Love

Dear Wishful Thinking:
You seem so sweet and innocent—I don't want to crush your dreams. Oh what the hell. Let's just say that's the relationship you all should have a talking to with Summit about blatant publicity.

Dear Ted:
My favorite actress is Eva Mendez, but I never really see her anymore, and honestly I can't tell whether she's bitchy or sweet or whatevs! I never really see or hear anything about her other than people saying she's pretty! Any dish on her? Please tell!
—Kelly

Dear Unusual Suspect:
We actually used to go the same gym, saw her all time, and at parties, too. She was always the same at both: totally without airs. True star appeal. Plus, she had guts to get sober so openly. Love her. Sexy as hell, too. Should see her doin' squats!

Dear Ted:
How come we aren't getting to see a lot of our Jasper and Alice together? Ashley's doing all her New Moon events with Kellan. And there have been Rob and Kristen photo shoots (of course, who wouldn't want to see those), Ashley-Kellan-Rachelle photo shoots and even a Nikki-Kellan photo shoot. But no Jackson and Ashley. What's up with that?
—Lucky

Dear Jackly's Back:
Jackson's not as obligated as other castmembers to do as much publicity. I think he's a classic example of a guy who might not want to deal with fame stuff so he just doesn't. Good for him!