The Awful Truth

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Dear Ted:
I really like Taylor Swift. Is she as sweet as she seems, or is she secretly like Jennifer Garner behind closed doors?
—Michelle

Dear Tooth Ache:
About as sweet as it gets. She's everything Garner wishes you thought she was! Seriously, it makes the whole Kanye incident that much worse 'cause the d-bag couldn't have done it to a nicer gal.

Dear Ted:
With Taylor Swift getting the SNL gig, have you heard if they may try and pimp (I mean hype) her connection with Taylor Lautner by having him do a guest spot (showing his abs, since he has done that a lot lately) to promote the New Moon release coming up?
—L.B.

Dear Pimping Out Tay-Squared:
Not a bad idea! Plus Justin Long made a cameo when Drew Barrymore hosted, same for Scarlett Johansson when her hubby, Ryan Reynolds, was on the show...getting your significant other to guest spot is all the rage these days! Would be one helluva great way to tell the world they're more than amigos.

Dear Ted:
I realize Obama's inaction on gay rights is frustrating, and I agree that he needs to do more. However, I am disappointed in you that because of this one issue, you are writing him off as someone who only cares about fame. Do you really believe that to be true? I would hope you wouldn't dismiss someone like him who has been working tirelessly on other important issues (for example, healthcare, international relations, etc.) that easily.
—Lindsay

Dear Gobama:
The day I (and everyone else) start being complacent with how the government works is the day nothing ever gets done. You need to be angry, and vocal, about what you aren't pleased with. Politicians are looking for any excuse to ignore you. Don't let them.

Dear Ted:
Are Slink-a-Rella Jiggle and Dumbo Pecs an openly married couple or still hiding their nuptials in the closet? My mother took in two wild cats that looked to be on the verge of starving to death. It has taken her about a month, but she has finally got them into her home. Bad thing is one cat is possibly pregnant. Guess I know what I'll be getting for Christmas. Ted, you looking for another cat?
—Arabella

Dear Sweetly Disjointed:
Gotta be one of the weirdest letters I've ever received, but still love ya, babe—and what you and your mom are doing for animals. Slinky and Dumbo are happily married—at least I believe they are.

Dear Ted:
I feel like I haven't heard much about Skarswood (Alexander Skarsgård and Evan Rachel Wood) lately. Got any dish on them? Well, really, got anything on the sexy Swede?
—Mail 

Dear Sheriff Eric Patrol:
Our fave Alex has been spending all his time filming flicks in True Blood's hiatus or doing god knows what with Ev. They actually haven't been spotted in any high profile places for a while, so either they're over before they've barely begun, or everyone wants to stay in denial that they're even together. Us included.

Dear Ted:
I know it said in one of your blogs that there was nothing "faux" about Miley Cyrus and Nick Jonas' romance. But how about Nick Jonas and Selena Gomez? Was theirs even real? I know Selena and Miley have had their problems in the past, and I know Miley can be dramatic, but if you ask me, I don't think Miley's the one with the problem. Something about Selena really bugs me.
—Quizzical

Dear Nuts About Disney:
They're all friggin' teenagers. Is any of it real? If you so desperately need confirmation, Team A.T. spotted them on a posh dinner date ourselves, so yeah, it was as real as 15-year-old puppy love can get. 

Dear Ted:
Three years ago, my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer. She chain-smoked right until the moment she entered the hospital for surgery. Six weeks ago my husband had an emergency quadruple bypass. He had his last puff less than an hour before being admitted for a heart attack. Neither of them would rake us over the coals for falling off the wagon. I have been jumping on and falling off for 26 years. The trick is don't stop jumping back on.
—Vanessa

Dear Motivational Speaker:
Yep, and like any person who has a problem with vices (mine's smoking), I'm fully aware of the dangers—sounds like you sure are, too. And I appreciate the pep talk. But I'm not an idiot. Just an addict.

Dear Ted:
Were Kristen Stewart and Nikki Reed ever dating? Maybe that's why they broke up. Kristen swung the other way and ditched Nikki.
—Supergirl 

Dear K.Stew Brew:
Is this some fanfiction accidentally sent to me? Nik's outright denying her past with Robert Pattinson, does she have to start fielding K.Stew questions, too?

Dear Ted:
To me it seems as if Nikki Reed is Jen Aniston, while Rob and Kristen are Brad and Angelina. Just like Jen, Nikki is reassuring everyone that she's fine, but by doing so she's just painting a target on herself. Next thing you know, she'll be on the cover of magazines with big, bold letters saying, "I've moved on since Rob." The more she says she never "hooked up" with Rob, the more obvious it is. Who is she trying to convince with the whole me and Rob were never together situation, the people or herself? Maybe the more times she says it, the closer she is to actually believing it.
—Faye

Dear Dopplegängers:
We totally see Robsten as Brangelina—but we're not buying Nikki in the Jen role. Nikki never had Rob for keeps, and she's definitely no victim (tho everyone should stop looking at Jen that way, too, including Jen herself).

Dear Ted:
So Jennifer Aniston has a thing going for her costars? How come she didn't go for Aaron Eckhart? He seems like a genuine guy. And I must say incredibly handsome. Correct me if I'm wrong on that, please. It's not like she couldn't have her choice of nice guys. There's a reason behind that that a therapist could answer I'm sure.
—Costas

Dear Aniston Amour:
How do you know she didn't and he wasn't having any of it? You date Aniston, you date the press, and Aaron's a totally shy guy. Not a Mayer-esque fame whore at all.