Kristen Stewart is on the cover of Interview looking like Edward turned her into a vampire a little earlier than expected (spoiler alert!). At least it's a superfierce vampire, though.
Interviewed by Dennis Hopper (get well soon), K.Stew is all business, which means no talk of Robert Pattinson and their onscreen chemistry or whatever we're used to hearing about.
Instead, she awkwardly and honestly talks about acting and dealing with all this fame.
"All I'm thinking of is the fact that everything I say is going to be criticized—not criticized, just evaluated and analyzed," she says at one point.
And it's true. Every word anyone even remotely related to the Twilight series utters quickly spreads across the Internet and is immediately deconstructed for clues of possible Robsten hookups or shady Summit conspiracy theories.
But that's just life, right K.Stew?
"There's nothing you can do about it, to be honest," she says. "I don't leave my hotel room—literally, I don't. I don't talk to anybody about my personal life, and maybe that perpetuates it, too. But it's really important to own what you want to own and keep it to yourself."
Of course, we all know she doesn't always literally stay in her hotel room. Sometimes she goes to cast and crew parties...and Rob will be there, too! And his shirts will be disheveled and incorrectly buttoned! Hookup alert!
"Some nights, I think, 'You know what? I don't care. I'm just going to do what I want to do.' Then the next day I think, 'Ugh. Now everyone thinks I'm going out to get the attention.' But it's like, no, I actually, for a second, thought that maybe I could be like a normal person."
She does see an end to this craze, though.
"But I have a really strong feeling that this is going to go away, that this is the most intense it's going to get—and could get—and that it's fleeting. So in a few years, I will hopefully become more like the people I want to become like."
In the meantime, while she waits for an end to the madness, Kristen will just have to settle on being a boring recluse:
"The sad thing is that I feel so boring because Twilght is literally how every conversation I have these days begins—whether it's someone I'm meeting for the first time or someone I just haven't seen in a while. The first thing I want to say to them is, 'It's insane! And, as a person, I can't do anything!' But then I think to myself, 'God damn it, shut the f--k up.' "
Oh Kristen, please never shut the f--k up. We'd take quotes from you anytime over Megan Fox's daily powerful vagina updates. Now show us some fashiony poses.
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Too many Kristen Stewart pictures? Get more Rob in our Total Eclipse gallery.