Renée Wearing Fat Suit for Bridget Jones 3 and Other Girlie Things Gone Bad

Someone pass the Pepto. Zellweger may not pack on the pounds, while Sweet Valley High is getting a Diablo Cody treatment and Bring It On may be headed for Broadway

Some things are simply too good to mess with.

Like, cookies 'n' cream ice cream (no need for chocolate sauce) or Ryan Reynolds (no need for a shirt). Or Renée Zellweger as Bridget Jones.

While the actress is confirmed to take on the part for a third time, word is that she won't be packing on the pounds to embody the character from head to toe with a little jiggle in between.

Which is why this report is so disturbing. It would take Harry Potter-level CGI to even come close to making the waify actress look fleshy.

"Renee will be wearing a fat suit in the third film as it took her a while to lose the weight last time," a source tells Britain's Reveal magazine. "She's also thinking about the effect quickly putting on and then losing 30 pounds has on her body."

Terrifying. Would the films have been as awesome had she done this for the first two? We doubt it.

In other let's-ruin-fun-girlie-stuff news...

Bring It On may be Broadway-bound. Variety confirms A-list peeps from In the Heights and Next to Normal are convening to bring Kirsten Dunst's cheerleading flick to the stage. Seriously? "I'm sexy, I'm cute, I'm popular to boot" + vibrato?

Lastly, class may be in session as Sweet Valley High gets the Diablo Cody treatment. Universal is currently in negotiations for the rights to the series, with the Juno writer attached to tackle it, according to the Hollywood Reporter. No word as to whether or not it will be developed into a movie or television series.

Next thing you know, they're going to announce Leighton Meester is leaving Gossip Girl to star in a Baby-Sitters Club show or something. Oy.

Someone pass the Twizzlers.

Thank goodness there's this today to make us a little more Gleeful.