Universal health care, y'all!
No, actually, that is not one of the ways in which the United States would be different if Britney Spears were president.
She would, however, be the first commander in chief since Nixon to wear eye shadow, and there would be a heck of a lot more pie to go around. (That's Southern hospitality for you.)
Looking pert and pretty in a string bikini and handling the teleprompter like a pro, Spears tackled The Late Show With David Letterman's nightly Top 10 list Tuesday—her first late-night TV appearance since a Late Show cameo in 2006, which was before the...unpleasantness.
Other reasons to vote Britney in 2012: "We would only invade fun places like Cabo"; "Three words: Vice President Diddy"; and "America might have a more coherent fiscal strategy."
And don't forget the No. 1 way in which this would be a total alternate universe if Britney were in charge, according to the pop princess: "Finally the media would pay some attention to me."
The economy's looking brighter over on our end already.
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Check out Britney in a different-colored bikini in our sizzling Beach Bodies gallery.