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Is There Any Good Dirt on the Jonas Brothers?

Mon., Aug. 17, 2009 8:30 PM PDT by Leslie Gornstein

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The Jonas Brothers seem so clean-cut and, well, normal, which seems so unusual for young stars these days. Surely, there's some dirt you can dish on them?

—Laura, via the Answer B!tch inbox

Oh yes. Yes, there is. Those three guys may wear promise rings, credit God for their success and field all manner of praise from journalists for their politeness and admiration of accomplished musicians. But they are not free of sin. Behold! The top five biggest Jonas Brothers scandals! Revealed...

1. Their ladies take the Lord's name. In vain. Both Miley Cyrus—a known off-and-on associate of Nick Jonas—and Danielle Deleasa, fiancée to Kevin, have been quoted as saying "Oh my god." Has anyone in the Jonas family taken any sort of action? No. No, they have not.

2. Someone out there does not think the Jonas Brothers are amazing. Trace Cyrus, Miley's brother, was recently quoted as saying the Jonas Brothers are "fake." What manner of insult did the brothers commit to offend this tattoo-covered man with multiple piercings and no discernible career? The entire Jonas camp is closing ranks. Clearly they're hiding something.

3. The Jonas Brothers used to charge about $40 per concert ticket. Now they charge closer to $80, and all we're getting are front-row seats, killer special effects, real singers playing real instruments and a band that has sold roughly 8 million records. Know who else charges that kind of money? Springsteen. Charges roughly $90 per ticket. Just what are these punks trying to say?

4. Nick got snippy once when a reporter asked about that ticket price.

5. They are completely lying about their age. "What people don't really understand," Joe Jonas told a Pittsburgh Tribune-Review reporter, "is that we secretly are over the age of 40, and so we've already lived through our shelf lifetime, so we're pretty much just going back and trying to reinvent ourselves."

J'accuse, Jonases. J'accuse.

Need your JoBros faith restored? See them enjoy America's pastime in our Dodger Dawgs gallery.