Week in Review: Jackson Case and Eclipse Madness Share Spotlight With Feuds, Splits & Bachelorette

We sort out the week in entertainment news, from The Bachelorette to Madonna's biceps (ew) to Bryce Dallas Howard

By Natalie Finn Aug 01, 2009 5:15 PMTags
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Another jam-packed seven days, another chance for you to ease into the weekend with a scholar's knowledge of what the celebs and the people who care about them were up to all week.

Take it away, Twilight...

1. So did you hear the one about Summit Entertainment replacing Rachelle Lefevre with Bryce Dallas Howard in The Twilight Saga: Eclipse? No joke! (We don't see Lefevre or Summit laughing, at least.) And though Howard has the PG-13 horror cred and pale Victoria visage, most fans are none too happy—although Ms. Counterpunch thinks it's just great.

2. Turns out we're going to have to wait for the zillions of dots to be connected in the Michael Jackson case before we get an official cause of death (though we have received unofficial confirmation he fathered a love child!). The LAPD and DEA continue to breathe down cardiologist Conrad Murray's neck, and medical records from docs all over L.A. are still being turned over to authorities by the barrelful. On the home front, things are more peaceful—Jackson's mom got custody of his kids; Debbie Rowe got visitation rights.

3. A sad coda: Persistent American Idol auditioner Alexis Cohen, a YouTube favorite, was killed in a hit-and-run accident in New Jersey. The driver is on suicide watch in jail and is planning to plead not guilty to aggravated manslaughter and other charges, according to his attorney, who has suggested that Cohen may have been drinking at the time of the accident.

4. E!'s very own Kim Kardashian is a free agent after splitting up with NFL-star beau Reggie Bush. The bootyful brunette says she's doing fine, and sources say there could still be a future for the duo, but that their schedules are just too incompatible right now. Have any thoughts on who Kim might be more compatible with?

5. Bachelorette Jillian Harris picked Ed Swiderski to be the guy she's going to go on talk shows with and be engaged to for the next six months. We kid! Seriously, though, they seem cute and, most importantly, happy together, so we wish 'em the best. (Trista does, too.) We would much rather cover their wedding than their breakup.

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6. Madonna's arms. Ew. (But are they more disgusting than this?)

7. Mancentric websites (and, perhaps, Seth Rogen) are gonna boycott Megan Fox for a day. Aug. 4, to be exact. In protest of her overexposure, they say. We say because their hands are tired. (From writing about her and posting pictures all the time, duh!)

8. Just when you were getting used to the drought, TLC goes and releases clips from the first new postsplit episode of Jon & Kate Plus 8. Remember how that show was about a married couple and their large brood? Well, now it's about a bikini model who spends a lot of time fake-smiling at an Ed Hardy-wearing serial dater, so as not to upset the eight little people who look like them.

9. Feuds! Not even counting Summit vs. Victoria (we know what not to get Rachelle Lefevre for her birthday), we've got a reboot of Eminem vs. Mr. and Mrs. Nick Cannon, more Tori vs. Candy Spelling, "Halo" vs. "Already Gone" and, as if Entourage vs. Seth Rogen weren't enough, Howard Stern went and asked Rogen and Judd Apatow this week about Katherine Heigl dissing Knocked Up. We hope Heigl was listening.

10. Miscellany: Jude Law impregnated a model...Kara DioGuardi's returning to Idol...Joe Jonas and Camilla Belle are done...Dakota Fanning and Freddie Highmore could be just beginning...Kristen Davis has a new fella...George Clooney may have a new gal...Watch With Kristin has Bethenny blogging The Real Housewives of Atlanta every week...Backstreet Boys are doing a new album...Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart may be doing, um, other stuff...Jessica Simpson is doing good and looking hot...Mischa Barton's out of the hospital...NBC's under new management...Three men were charged with burglarizing Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate...Hulk Hogan settled that nasty divorce.

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Pass judgment on pics of Gwyneth, Penélope, Sienna and Demi in our Fashion Police Gallery. Then go ahead and ease your guilt by appreciating the celebs in our Do-Gooder Gallery.