Week in Review: Miss Cali Fired, Kendra Spawns, Letterman Takes on Palin, Celebrity Loses Speidi

Sat., Jun. 13, 2009 10:38 AM PDT by Natalie Finn

Carrie Prejean, Stephen Colbert, David Letterman, Kendra Wilkinson

Denise Truscello/Getty Images, USO Photo by Steve Manuel, CBS, Patrick T. Fallon/ZUMAPress.com

Welcome to the war room as, sporting flak jackets to protect ourselves from unfriendly fire, we recount the week that was. Really, the story lineup looks like a court docket as we sift through Palin vs. Letterman, Dave vs. Conan, Miss California vs. the System, Jon vs. Kate, Speidi vs. Sanity, etc. Not that all the news was hilarious negative, but many boats are definitely a rockin'...

1. Carrie Prejean was once forgiven, but now she's fired. And the former Miss California USA, despite her overall calmness, insists she was outta there the second she spoke out against gay marriage. A point she could only press so many times before getting a bit snippy. No matter. Sean Hannity thinks she's just wonderful.

2. David Letterman is partying like it's fall 2008 over on the Late Show, where he resumed slinging arrows at Alaska Governor Sarah Palin and her daughter Bristol. Why, you ask? Because it's still really easy to do. But now Palin's got plenty of time to take offense. None of which is good for Conan O'Brien as the late-night wars, as brought to you by Howard Stern and Julia Roberts, heat up.

3. Meanwhile, everything's coming up Kendra! Ms. Wilkinson is expecting her first bundle of joy with fiancé Hank Baskett; her pals and Hef are thrilled; parties are being planned; her new show pulled in a good-sized audience; and her already good-sized boobs are getting bigger. To top it all off, it was her birthday Friday, too!

4. Jon and Kate Gosselin spent their 10th anniversary pretty much the same way they spent every other day last week—not together. The only time we saw 'em together, for better or for worse, was for an hour on TLC, as off-camera they continue to run to the bank and pump gas without each other.

5. Adam Lambert and his big, green snake turned up on the cover of the Rolling Stone to confirm this year's worst-kept secret.

6. Stephen Colbert took the Report to Baghdad and, with a few swipes of the clippers, proved himself the coolest patriot since Mel Gibson.

7. I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here! is without its main draw—for good, this time—after Heidi Pratt's tummy troubles gave Speidi their least lame reason to quit yet. We hear there's other stuff going on in the jungle in their absence, but...Yeah, we'll get right on that.

8. Miley and Justin are no more, as are Paris and Doug. But at least Justin seemed an informed participant in his breakup. That, and Miley tweeted a lot of wistful thoughts. Doug just can't win.

9. And the rest: Madonna's allowed to adopt again; Brett Michaels got clocked at the Tonys; SAG's finally got a new contract; Cher's daughter is getting a sex change; Jessica Alba seems to be in the clear for her great white snafu; a private forensics expert says David Carradine's death wasn't a suicide; Mike Tyson got married; Britney's got a boyfriend (which we knew); and Usher's getting a divorce.