The human brain can only retain a limited amount of Soup information each week; here are the unquestionably important things to know. The rest you can toss.

• You don't create a cabal against Melissa Rivers. Unless you want a breathtaking mother and daughter meltdown. Against the whore pit vipers.

• Sarah Palin likes hogs and has a dead bear in her office.

• Real Housewives of New York City's Bethenny Frankel is looking for love. In all the gay places.

• It's called For the Love of Ray J. Not For the Baby Mama of Ray J. Something Ray J is quite grateful for.

• Beyoncé, Jessica Simpson, Julianne Hough. Daddy's mad at one of 'em.