Bitch-Back! Fans Rally for Aniston, Bale and Pattz

Fans defend Christian Bale and Jennifer Aniston in our regular letters post

By Ted Casablanca Mar 05, 2009 2:18 PMTags
Robert Pattinson, Christian BaleJason LaVeris/Getty Images, Mike Marsland/Getty Images

Dear Ted:
What a sad and frightening blind item about Brain-Fry Noodlestein. This person obviously needs help, and it doesn't sound like his friends are helping at all. Could it by chance be either of the Wilson brothers?
Anonymous in Dallas

Dear Owen'ing Bry:
Very sad indeed, but either of the Wilsons it is not. Interesting guess, though.

Dear Ted:
You probably have heard this from a lot of people already, but I have a very good friend who just recently worked with Christian Bale. When I asked what they thought of the "flare-up" thing, they told me it turns out that a lot of people are glad that he went off on that particular crew person on the film that day. Seems he has a reputation, and the person who gave me the scoop told me the guy Christian was yelling at is known to be a total douche in those circles, and most people do not like him. I even heard that some producers or director sent Bale flowers as a congratulations for yelling at that guy. Not that I think that justifies ever screaming at a person in that way, but might give you a perspective of both sides of the situation
Anonymous

Dear Batting for the Bat:
Honestly, I'm sure there has been way worse said, or rather screamed, on a set before than Bale's rant. It just isn't taped or leaked. Even though I'm a C.B. fan, it just should have been handled differently.

Dear Ted:
Just saw a pic of Nicole Kidman in Tokyo in a black flowing gown and looking distinctly fuller faced. Possibly a small baby bump was showing. Any news about that?
Kris 

Dear Bump Watch:
Oh, no. Not again. Please.

Dear Ted:
The link to the "academic paper" on Toothy Tile in the Bitch-Back column was very insightful. I know that everyone thinks they know who Toothy is, but I still think that it's possible that it's someone else who is flying "under the radar." Would you really make it that easy for us? Keep it up—I live for reading your column every morning!
Angela

Dear Love of the Chase:
Many of our Blind Vice victims fly under the radar; you'd be so surprised.

Dear Ted:
Ted, let Rob be. I believe he is our next great star, however tortured. So perhaps you're helping, perhaps you're hurting him. Decide, there are an awful lot of people out here who appreciate him, have for a long time, waited to see him in something—and he plays this part amazingly. Here's hoping someone—management and/or family get a clue and support him—perhaps another star could give him a little friendly support on wading through this jungle. Hollywood is not for him—and he really doesn't need to be there. By the time he finishes the fourth Twilight series, he won't need to do anything else—I pray he does. This is his Gone With the Wind, his Titanic—early—but unlike Radcliffe they won't be able to typecast him—I'm just praying you all don't drive him to be Marlon Brando....please don't!
Carolyn 

Dear Pattz Protector:
I think Rob's more like the next Johnny Depp. J has the sex appeal and the talent status without having H'wood suck the life out of him. That's who Rob should talk to.

Dear Ted:
What is wrong with some of you Americans? I can't effing believe you people are actually the judge to see if Jennifer and John Mayer's relationship is fake or real. Are you kidding me? She looks happy, they look happy, what do you want to see, her with five kids and a husband to be happy then finally she'll be over Brad? You make it sound like her life is Brad, and she can't move on, because he is the so called sexiest man in the world. He's looking very tired these days while she is looking younger than ever. How do you measure someone's happiness, by how many Oscars and kids they pop out? You all are pathetic.
Karissa

Dear Continental Saint:
And look who's so hot 'n' bothered overseas, babe. Calm down, it's Hollywood, not the U.N.

Dear Ted:
Is Nevis Divine Simon Baker? If not, has he ever been a subject of any of your blinds?
Michael, South Carolina

Dear Breaking Baker:
Nevis is a tad younger than Simon. As for Si's other dirty indiscretions? They're safe from me...for now.

Dear Ted:
Is Prius Crotch-Catch Natalie Portman? And Wally Wallup Nick Cannon?—Nina

Dear Catch a Portman:
Sorry, doll-muff, Nat's secrets are far less sexually exciting. And you're very close guessing Cannon.

Dear Ted:
When will Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr break up? It's obvious it's all fake and it's getting pretty pathetic.
Liesl, Miami

Dear Wither Away:
Orlando seems to have exactly what he needs right now, let's put it that way.