Ask the Answer B!tch

By: Ashleigh, Newcastle, England

A.B. Replies: Well, I could go on about NASA-strength concealer or this clear stuff called primer, which has the consistency of bacon grease but the stay-put power of a battalion of humorless beefeaters. I could wax on about mascara so heavy it seems to shut one of Paris Hilton's eyes every time she puts it on. I could clue you in to the occult powers of powder--which to makeup artists is more valuable than a truckful of Adderall. But you would only be getting half the story.

The real key to Beyonc?'s Fresh-Faced Glow? is the Caddy Lackey. You can't buy a Caddy Lackey at Rite Aid (or the British equivalent, Boots). You can rent one or, better yet, if you're planning, say, a two-and-a-half-hour concert replete with spangly backup dancers, you can book a squadron of CLs from a hot agency like Cloutier.

A Caddy Lackey is a professional makeup artist--someone whose sole job is to make a star look good and then, using a magic caddy full of brushes and little pots, keep her fresh for as long as she wishes. During a video shoot, or on any movie set, as soon as a director yells, "cut," that CL swoops in with the brushes, the little pots and erases every droplet of sweat, every smudge that has appeared in the last 15 to 20 seconds.

Same deal with long live performances. Any time you don't see Beyonc? onstage, she's off somewhere, getting pummeled with makeup brushes.

"There is constant maintenance involved, so don't anyone be disillusioned if they can't look like the star," says Collier Strong, consulting makeup artist for L'Or?al Paris. "There is always someone there. That's why musicians have makeup artists on tour with them."

Some stars like to turn their Caddy Lackeys into their friends. Then the Caddy Lackeys become the entourage.

With the CL off of my conscience, I can now fill you in on specific makeup tricks. Waterproof mascara is the first no-brainer.

"As long as you don't rub your eye, it won't become a mess," Strong promises. "Don't come out of the pool and try to squeeze the water out of your eyes [though]." If you enjoy squeezing your eyes, Strong suggests perma-tinting your eyelashes instead.

For foundation, Strong swears--swears--that L'Or?al's long-wear foundation, Infallible, is tops among the pros.

"As a matter of fact, my friend, who does makeup for Christina Aguilera, just called me and said that's what she uses onstage," Strong said. "It's made to stay on, whether you're in the pool or wherever."

As for primer, Smashbox and Napoleon both make decent ones. Napoleon's face primer is called Auto Pilot Skin Primer, and it's $45 at Saks. They have a special primer for eyes, too--called Auto Pilot Eye Spy, and it's $60. (It's just that important.) Put it on your eyelids, under your eye shadow, and it will stick longer. Or mix the primer with the eye shadow for added stay-puttitude.

And why, yes, beauty publicists, I would love to sample your free makeup!