Ask the Answer B!tch

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Why is Conrad Murray still walking around if the Jackson family keeps blaming him for killing Michael? Why isn't he in jail?
—KellyT, via the Answer B!tch inbox

People also called for swift justice after the murders of Nicole Brown and Ronald Goldman. That worked out well, now, didn't it?

The unofficial-official-off-the-record line from Los Angeles law enforcement types is that investigators still have too many tasks ahead before they can entertain us with a trial. The other holdup, according to reports, is that the officials want to talk to more medical experts before deciding whether or not to charge Murray, which would make sense, because you really can't have a decent media circus without a ton of pointy-headed brainiacs.

But is the spin true? Partly. What they aren't telling you is that the death of another celebrity might very well be gumming up the works as well...

...and I will let you take your guesses on that dead celebrity while I line up the rest of the scenario.

To begin with, former police and prosecutors tell me, the Los Angeles Office of the District Attorney has yet to bring any charges in the Michael Jackson case because it doesn't want to screw up. As I've already noted, local law enforcement already has failed royally in most other celebrity cases aside from Phil Spector.

"Because it's so high profile,"says Stacy Dittrich, crime author and former detective, "and considering we're talking about the Los Angeles police department, here, with the O.J. Simpson case still overshadowing them, they have to cross every I, dot every T and leave no stone unturned."

Or no cliché unexplored, but again, I digress.

Also, remember, there's no real incentive to hurry, here. Murray, who has been blamed by the Jackson family for Michael's death, has maintained his innocence throughout and has returned to work.

"It's not like the prosecutors are thinking there's a propofol murderer out there," says Robin Sax, former Los Angeles prosecutor and author of Predators and Child Molesters. And as for Murray being a flight risk? Please. The surveillance on him is probably crazy town.

Still more factors slowing things down: the feds.

"At the very least," retired Drug Enforcement Administration supervisory special agent Gregory D. Lee tells me, "Murray runs the risk of losing his license," not to mention more serious federal drug charges, and those need to be coordinated and planned with the locals.

And lastly, there's the likely influence of—yes—Anna Nicole Smith. Ex-beau Howard K. Stern will likely go to trial on multiple drug-related felony charges stemming from the model's addiction woes and death. Local prosecutors are probably watching that case to see how it shakes out before nailing down specific charges, Sax speculates.

Eventually, we'll get the bread and circuses we've come to expect from celebrity justice. We may just have to wait a bit longer.

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If we have to wait we might as well spend some time with the stars at the Magic Kingdom, right?