The Awful Truth

Nino Munoz; Maxim Magazine

"I mean, a lot of it has to do with what's fun and exciting. But I think I have the advantage of being a chameleon. I want to play every and any role—I don't want to be stuck in one place. It's important to reach out to every demographic." 

—New Moon's Ashley Greene, when we asked her how she picks and chooses what press to do. Like her Maxim cover, for example, rather than other teen-centric mags. Rob, Kristen and Taylor probably don't get that much of a choice since the entire movies focus around them, but it's clear Ash wants to be seen as not just a franchised chick. Don't ya think? 

Better question: Is it working?

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Check out the New Moon Mag Covers gallery to see more with the whole cast!

New Moon hits theaters at midnight, which is why we've made this week nonstop Twilight (next week for you haters we'll try and just stop, promise). As Twilight fever hits, I sink my teeth into the top truths and lies about the slurp-a-sexy New Moon cast.

You'll never guess how it ends...

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Head on over to our Truth, Lies, & Ted archive for more dirt.

ONeill/White/INFphoto.com

Dear Ted:
Celebrities may or not be "fair game," but Scientology is a religion practiced by millions of housewives, lawyers, students, firemen, doctors and bricklayers, who say it helps them lead happier lives. Maybe it shouldn't be casually slimed in a gossip column.
—John Carmichael

Dear Slime Away:
Thanks to Tom Cruise, and his surprising spiral, it's hard to take anything he backs all that seriously.

Dear Ted:
In Ian Halperin's book on Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, he says that Angie and her team waged a mean-spirited campaign against Jennifer Aniston and planted stories to the media about how Jen didn't want kids, etc. Do you think this is true? I mean, it wouldn't shock me, Angie does seem to me a manipulative witch and I can see her doing this, just wanted your thoughts. Come on, Ted, please tell me that Angie hasn't changed at all and this "Mother Teresa" persona she wants us all to believe is one big old act!
—Anc

Dear Bitchalina:
Whether Brange planted stories or not, some of those are in fact true. And hell, no, A.J.'s totally saintly, now, don't you know?

Dear Ted:
Stop trying to make Ashley Greene-Kellan Lutz happen. They are not happening for the fans, it's obvious. You refer to her and Jackson Rathbone as ex flames, are they still friends though?
—Bella

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Tasos Katopodis/Getty Images

Two of our New Moon faves are Kellan Lutz and Ashley Greene. Lutz, because he's rugged-sexy (more Team Awful's type, sorry Ash) and Greene 'cause she's always such a sweetheart.

With all of the Robsten lovey-dovey stuff, these two babes can get overlooked...which is probably just how they like it.

Seems close friends K & A have just the right amount of fame: They are recognized and can have fun with it, but don't have to stay locked in their hotel rooms.

Let's not forget about Kellan and Ash in our ridiculous New Moon coverage.

Here's what the pair had to say about their star power and inherited fan base, and their witty banter made wonder if there's more there than just being costars?

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Mike Guastella/Getty Images

Dear Ted:
I love Robsten and can't get enough info, pics and sightings which are few and far between...yet Ashley Greene and Kellan Lutz are constantly seen together and not shy about their "friendship". Is there anything else there or are they really just friends? I think it's interesting nobody cares or gives a second thought to Kellan and Ashley being a couple but we all go crazy over the mere thought of Robsten. Thoughts? Feelings? Scoop?
—Sbb

Dear Vamp lovin' fan:
They knew each other and were friends before all this Twilight hooplah. Ash has told us tons of times she and Kellan are the closest on set. We don't think there's a friends with benefits situation going on...now, anyways.

Dear Ted:
OK, so I've heard enough about Alexander Skarsgård do-ability from you that I finally put True Blood in my Netflix cue. You're right though, Anna Paquin is off the charts. The show's only so-so, however, and one thing is driving me nuts. It really sounds like they are using a motif from The Tudors in the background music, occasionally arranged differently, but sometimes violin-note-for-violin note. Can you find out if they are recycling their music, possibly in hopes to transfer some of JRM's bad boy heat to these otherwise mostly tepid vampires? Or am I just mad as a hatter on this one?
—Wondering Winnie

Dear So Random:
I don't watch The Tudors, but I don't think the TB peeps are that dumb—or cheap. 

Dear Ted:
Is everything as lovey-dovey and perfect in John Krasinski and Emily Blunt's engagement as it seems? They got engaged pretty quickly (together for only 9 months following a pretty nasty breakup on her part) and there have been rumors that she's cheating. What do you think?
—Brit (Bluntski fan)

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Michael Buckner/Getty Images

Robert Pattinson might have that wall of dreamy hair, and all you Robstenites can't stop complaining about Bella's damn wig covering up Kristen Stewart's mullet. The whole Twi crew should have their own coif channel on mystyle.com, no?

But there's another New Moon babe whose hair is making news.

Ashley Greene hit up the Parlour on 3rd in Los Angeles on Sunday for nine friggin' hours to get extensions. If you're a longtime Ash fan, you know she had way long locks before she had to get it cut for her Twilight character. Now that Eclipse has just finished filming, looks like Greene's ready to throw away the pixie cut for a while and try something a bit more dramatic.

We think Ash looks totally fab with long or short hair—heck, babe could be bald and still be doable, which is more than we can say for some of the celebs in our new Would You Do...? gallery.

We've rounded up some of H'wood's best and blahest from Team Awful's most recent Do-Me Meters to pose the simple Q: Would you do them? We've got stars showcasing some totally blech fashion choices, untaut bods or just gross personalities mixed in with some surprisingly sexy celebs.

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Check out the doable (or not) dudes and dolls in our Would You Do...? gallery!

Dean/National Photo Group

As we told you last week, Team Awful was in the Vancouver area over the weekend. And since we (along with Oprah) ended up getting totally barred from any visits to the Eclipse set, we decided to make the most of our time in the city Robsten currently calls home.

While there were no Robert Pattinson or Kristen Stewart sightings, call it a wee bit of Twilight fate when we ended up at apparently one of Robsten's (and the cast's) frequent hangs for dinner.

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Gregg DeGuire/Getty Images

Dear Ted:
About your recent comments on Jennifer Aniston not acting her age: What would you do if your man left you for a younger and much hotter lover? Maybe she's hung up on keeping up? The other thing is that maybe Jennifer never had better taste in men. Wasn't Brad Pitt a totally irritating wannabe like John Mayer many years ago? Maybe Aniston likes 'em young and fame whoring. Lastly, can you be more specific about what exactly happened between her and Pitt? Much love and hugs for the breakup.
—O-girl

Dear Two's a Crowd:
I think Braniston fell into an unhealthy routine-like marriage—when you get bored, there's sure to be trouble lurking around the corner. Especially when she's big lipped, dark haired and has a body you'd kill for (at least back in the Mr. and Mrs. Smith days). Also, ultimately Brad and Jen had extremely different interests, never a good combo.

Dear Ted:
Screw all these pretty boys you seem so in love with. Let's discuss a real man. Robert Pattinson has nothing on Jon Hamm. Any secrets we should know about him?
—Hasulliv

Dear Hamm Sandwich:
Oh, honey, we are all fans of Jon Hamm here at the A.T. He's the Robert Pattinson of his generation, even if Jon disagrees. As for dirt on Jon, we're so working on it. Heard some interesting rumors 'bout him. We're digging.

Dear Ted:
You are probably going crazy with the need to reassure Robsten fans that Rob and Kristen Stewart are still going strong, and yet, here I am, another worried fan. The last two to three weeks we have seen R.P. on his own at parties and dinners, no K.S. in sight (other than the VMAs, which was work). I know you have said they are both independent, not needing to be with each other all the time, but please, can you just once again let us know they are together and strong and happy? Any maybe give us a clue as to one example of their togetherness lately?
—Worried & Definitely Obsessive

Dear Reading Too Much Into It:
We've hardly seen Rob out on his own a lot. He spends most of his time in seclusion with a certain costar. And they are both perfectly fine about that.

Dear Ted:
I want to know what's up with Ashley Greene and Xavier Samuels?
—callet1990

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Todd Williamson/Getty Images, Dave M. Benett/Getty Images

With all the horny hotties running amok on True Blood, Twilight and the Vampire Diaries, there are too many (mostly) cute couples coming and going in the vamp universe nowadays—who can possibly keep them all straight, as it were?

Check out Awful's photographic roundup of all the superfine couples connected to today's popular vampire shows and flicks, and our personal take on whether they've got the goods to make their love immortal, vamp-style. (Too bad Buffy's not still on the air, or we'd include a happily pregnant Sarah Michelle Gellar and her longtime hubby, Freddie Prinze Jr., in our gallery, too.)

One thing irks us, though: Where the ef are our homo fangers? Is Terry Tush-Trade the only switch-hitter on a vamp show? We know for a fact there are more of you out there—come out of the friggin' coffin already!

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Sink your teeth into the Vamp Lovers gallery, people.

Summit Entertainment

Remember last time we got a smidgen frustrated with loveable Robsten, and then later that day we wound up with the first of many photos showing Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart hanging out together all over L.A.? Well, for the Video Music Awards this weekend, we're going to try to recreate that reverse psychology phenomenon again.

We've been getting tons of excited tweets about Rob, Kristen and Taylor's VMA appearance set for Sunday, and many are asking whether we can hope for a public makeout sesh or any "confirmation" PDA for those having Robsten doubts. And our answer is? Not likely. Which blows! And we're damned pissed about it.

Think of the past hyped public Twi appearances. There were the MTV Movie Awards (where Rob ditched the carpet), Comic-Con (where Rob and Kristen were publicly separated) and the Teen Choice Awards (where both Rob and Kristen skipped the carpet and posed apart for pics). Yes, we've told you what has happened with some of their alone time together, but we want some public cuteness just like the rest of you.

So if we're lucky enough to see both R.Pattz and K.Stew walk the carpet this Sunday, is it too much to ask for some shots snapped together? Without the third wheel? If they do make that rare appearance (Lautner surely attached), we just hope Ashley Greene doesn't blow it and can get something cute, hot, quotable and—most importantly—photographic out of 'em.

Anything! Just let's not play the "we haven't seen each other naked" game, 'K? 'Cause we're so done with that one.

Todd Williamson/Getty Images

"Ashley's perfect. Kristen would never do it, but even if she wanted to, her intense personality wouldn't work that long oncamera. Just look how uncomfortable [Kristen] gets during an interview. And Nikki...Well, it's obvious why MTV wanted Ashley over her."

—So sasses one of our close-knit Twilight cast insiders on why the very likable Ashley Greene nabbed the gig to be MTV's fashion correspondent for Sunday's Video Music Awards

Must say, the choice is obvious. She's fourth in line for the Twilight crown (behind Rob, Kristen and Taylor), and the VMA powers obviously want a babe onscreen.

Our main gal, Kristen Stewart, would never do it. Part of her appeal is that she's just not that available, ya know?

While we stand by the fact that Ms. Reed is the prettiest of the Twi gals, she's clearly no one's fave. Best of luck to ya this weekend, Ash. Give us a good damn Robsten interview will ya? And a kissy kissy when you see Chace Crawford again this weekend.

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See which Twilight Saga stars are on the rise in our New Moon gallery.

Summit Entertainment, DZILLA/bauergriffinonline.com

Ted Casablanca is traveling this week and mail is being tackled by Team Awful—so try us!

Dear Awful Truth:
Do me a favor. Have you seen recent pictures of Kristen Stewart and her new wig? Please tell Deep Twi that Summit must have enough money to get the girl a decent wig—it looks terrible! Take a look at the pictures yourself! These kids are the toast of Hollywood and they can't get her hair right?
—Ckonelli

Dear Hair Affair:
Maybe it's Summit giving K.Stew the proverbial bitch-slap after she and Rob had their major-exposure weekend in L.A. a few weeks ago. She disobeys their rules, and they in turn give her an uglyass wig. Fair?

Dear Awful Truth:
I read about that dinner without Kristen Stewart, and after, I read about Rob's anger because of some text messages from Kristen's ex. And yes, this happens, but I'm a little concerned about this because it affects their relationship, and OK, I don't like to think about our Rob suffering. Sue me.
—Moonlight

Dear Claustrophobic in Vancouver:
There's nothing to worry about, yet. That dinner was totally blown out of proportion, trust. Not something worth freaking out over.

Dear Awful Truth:
I'm trying to figure out if this gossip is true so I figured I'd ask the expert. How many actresses from One Tree Hill are beards? Do you know if there are any actresses from One Tree Hill who may be in need of a beard of their own?
—Colleen

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