The Awful Truth

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Being a girl in Hollywood just sucks sometimes. Get photographed at a bad angle and your famous face will be splashed all over the tabs along with the word cellulite. (Kim Kardashian, anyone? Too ridic.)

Sure, thin will always be "in" in this superficial Biz of ours, but there's nothing more unattractive than being too damn skinny.

Ashlee Simpson-Wentz is the most recent inductee to this withering-away class of actresses, joining the likes of the Olsens, Lindsay Lohan and Keira Knightley.

Ash hit the premiere party for her new show, Melrose Place, this weekend, and all eyes were on her frail frame:

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Desperate Housewives' Josh Henderson seems like the nice guy version of Doug Reinhardt—he's bedded a bunch of H'wood hotties, including Dougie's latest Hawaiian lei, Paris. But unlike D.R., he knows how to get along with his exes. That is, once they become more famous than he is.

"We're definitely friendly," Josh told us at a club recently, dishing about all the famous femmes he's had—and moved on from. "Ashley Greene's doing the Twilight thing. Ashlee Simpson is doing well." That's Ashlee Simpson-Wentz, actually—been a long time since you two dated on her MTV reality show. Do you two keep in touch?

"We don't talk a lot, but we say hi." Have you met Bronx? "Uh, not really." Guess Pete likes to keep his wife at arm's length.

So what really went down during the time of these bedroom seshes?

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OK, let's just focus on the positive with this clip of Ashlee and Pete Wentz guesting on CSI: NY: We like Ash's dark-red 'do!

And thank the boob-tube gods they're only filming one episode of this crime drama and not five seasons of their own reality show. But didn't Ash learn a damn thing from her older sis and her failed relaysh? Newlyweds who appear on TV together file divorce papers together. Duh.

'Course, if still-single Jessica leaves Tony Romo at home and wants to give reality TV another whirl, we'd love to see her on Dancing With the Stars, since contestants are falling off the show left 'n' right. (We were gonna say The Biggest Loser, but we're just not that bitchy. Are we?)

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Ashlee Simpson stepped out on the town yesterday with an even bolder, brighter red 'do—just a few days after returning to her blond bombshell ways. What happened there, Ash? Jessica get jealous she wasn't the only peroxide-user in the fam? Or are you trying to redisguise yourself after your husband's über-personal comments about your sex life? Either way, make up your mind before your hair falls out.

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"I hate to be a liar, but at the same time, I kind of love to be a liar."

—Pete Wentz, master of surprises. No wonder you kept denying that Ashlee was pregnant while Ash herself remained oh-so coy on the matter for so long

We caught a spectacular view, dolls, of Hell-Ay from atop the brand-spankin'-new London hotel on the Sunset Strip, where Pete Wentz was deejaying a special MTV and Sunkist event.

P.W. strolled up to the rooftop pool party sans his new Simpson-Wentz wife-unit. Is Ash finally too pregs to party? Maybe she's learning some lessons from pal Nicole Richie on seriously settling down and nixing any nightlife. (Until your kid's old enough to watch itself, 'course, what is that nowadays, 6 months old?)

A handful of Fall Out Boy followers managed to finagle their way into the fete, and the eyelined babes snapped photos of the bassist, perched up on a balcony so no one could get an inch near him, all through his set. Didn't seem like Petey-pie had too many other fans in the place, since nobody was dancing to what the DJ was playin'.

Not one of the Kardashian sistahs there even boogied down. Instead Kim, Khloe and Kourtney spent most of the soiree holed up in the VIP section, unsurprisingly. In fact, more people were waiting in line to play Rock Band than the event organizers had set up for.

We dug the dude mixing hip-hop with '80s pop, like combining Jay-Z's "99 Problems" with Nena's "99 Luftballoons," but other party people were much harder to please. "He should have gotten here earlier," said one pissed P-fan. "He's playing the same songs the first DJ already played!"

Way to unwork the crowd, Wentzy. We know you've got blogging down to an art form, how about working on punctuality next? You getting Simpson-ized there, sweets?