The Awful Truth

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Dear Ted:
One of my favorite shows on TV is Gossip Girl, but I've got to know if there is any dirt on the costars? Seems as if Blake Lively and Leighton Meester don't get along too well. Also does anyone else, besides Chace Crawford of course, have a Blind Vice?
—Melia

Dear G.G. Gossip:
When Team Awful has spotted the two girls out partying, the two girls haven't even acknowledged each other. Battle of the egos, I'm thinking. As for being B.V. subjects, Chacey-poo is the only one holding down the naughty G.G. fort.

Dear Ted:
This is completely random, but did you know that if you made Tom Cruise a blond, he would look just like Peter Facinelli? It's creepy! On a completely different note, who's Terry Tush-Trade? For the love of all that's holy and good, Ted (I know you're a devout Presby)! I have to know. Your loving, devoted and faithful followers want, need, to know. Please! It's almost Christmas ya know. Spill!
—Bubble 

Dear Twins:
Um, no way will Facinelli ever look like Cruise. You might be right, but I refuse to imagine it. As for TTT, my lips are sealed until Terry's are not. Or until he gets caught with one of those damn flipcams.

Dear Ted:
It is 4 a.m. here in Chicago, and I am up sipping tea to sooth my never-ending sore throat. I just saw a snippet of Robin Robertson's interview with Janet Jackson. She was talking about M.J.'s death and her family's attempt at interventions. She also puts it out there who she blames for her brother's death. Although she looked beautifully madeup and composed in the interview, her eyes looked so sad. Any thoughts? Is Janet really speaking from the heart?
—Irish_blue

Dear Questioning Heartache:
Janet speaks more from the heart, whereas Joe speaks more from the pocketbook. But there are still many things left unsaid in this family.

Dear Ted:
I just don't think Taylor-Squared is real. With the obvious hints in interviews and how it's conveniently getting them more attention around the rerelease of her album and the release of New Moon, it just seems too perfect. And if Taylor Swift's a good friend, she wouldn't date Selena Gomez's ex. It just doesn't make sense.
—Robs 

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Dear Ted:
Any dirt on Joe Jonas? And do you think he really did cheat on Taylor Swift? Too bad, I liked them as a couple.
—Phii 

Dear Joe Dirt:
I like Tay-squared better. And no new dirt on Jonas, other than he's in Madrid alone right now. Pity the poor Spaniard chicks there who get treated like he did Taylor. Who does Joe think he is, Doug Reinhardt? And it's just dumb that Joe's still supposed to be so clean and innocent. Give me Nick any day. And as for Swift—how come she always comes out from these Hollywood relayshes unscathed? It's very suspicious, I'm keeping my eye on that cutie.

Dear Ted:
You know, I think Brad Pitt likes his women skinny. Gwyneth Paltrow got even thinner when they were together and so did Jennifer Aniston. I bet Angie lives on celery and lettuce out of fear that if she puts on the pounds, Brad will leave her for a younger, sexier and thinner starlet.
—Hmph 

Dear Nice Catch:
You know, thinking back on it, they all did skinny up while with him. But they don't all share the same eating habits, trust.

Dear Ted:
Did you see the Taylor Lautner interview the other night with Giuliana Rancic? She asks him what he likes to do on a first date, and he mentions that maybe "going to a game, like a hockey game." Oh really? Like the one he went on with Taylor Swift? More proof Tay-Tay is really happening? What do you think?
—Vanness

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Dear Ted:
Was Angie on the mystery diet when she and Brad got together? If so, why would a man want to have a huge family with a less than "healthy" woman? How accurate is the new bio on these two?
—Kesurface

Dear Bust Up Brange:
Yes, Brad very well knew what he was getting into when he ran over to be Jolie's pet.

Dear Ted:
Have Sarah Jessica Parker and hubby Matthew Broderick ever been in one of your blind vices, either together or separately?
—Victoria

Dear Obvious One:
Of course. Innocent, they're not.

Dear Ted:
Who will make it to the altar first: Hayden Christensen, Jensen Ackles or George Eads?
—Fake it

Dear No for Three:
Eads. By default.

Dear Ted:
As everybody else I raved with Robsten's holding hands photo. As you said, in Robsten's terms that was the equivalent to a sex tape. But precisely because of it, can we say that it was an accident? Just a lucky papz in the right place, in the right time? I mean, they're always trying so hard to not appear together like "together" and now this? Or maybe Summit decided to take some advantage? After all, with New Moon's premiere just there, this is sensational, free publicity. Don't misinterpret me, I think it was great, I mean, it was Robsten holding hands!
—Afrodita

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Ramey Photo

Dear Ted:
Do you think Angelina Jolie has an eating disorder? Nobody can be so skinny after having three babies. Love Ya!
—Lieb 

Dear Bones 'n' All:
She's on what we call a mystery diet. Think about it.

Dear Ted:

With all of the hoopla over Jensen Ackles getting engaged, people are speculating that one reason is that this will be Supernatural's last season. If this is indeed true, what do you think that means for Jackles (or Padackles, as I prefer to call them)? Will their epic bromance stand the test of time and new-found distance? Or will it fade into oblivion as so many friendships do?
—Next-door neighbors

Dear Bye-Bye Bromance:
If it's true bromance, they'll stay together. Have some faith!

Dear Ted:
Michael Lohan leaked those tapes for the same reason he is "friends" with Jon Gosselin: attention! He can't get any for any of his own accomplishments, so he has to mooch it off of everyone else. I am surprised he doesn't go around photo-bombing people!
—Amanda F., NYC

Dear Lohan So Yesterday:
He's an attention whore, just like his daughter...actually just like his whole fam. But we're all over it. Daddy Lohan needs to get the picture.

Dear Ted:
Are Woody Harrelson and Owen Wilson just really good friends or "really good friends"?
—J.D.

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Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images; Kevin Mazur/Getty Images

Dear Ted:
In your last Bitch-Back you said Angelina is waiting for Brad 2.0 to be her next target. Would this 2.0 have to be a younger man (à la Robert Pattinson) or does age not matter? I just heard a rumor that she might be doing a movie with Johnny Depp. Not that he could be lured away, but would he qualify in your book?
—Emmy

Dear Cougar Attack:
Depp def qualifies. We'll see what happens in their new film together...think we're gonna see a repeat of Pitt-Aniston situation?

Dear Ted:
Remember how a few weeks ago you spoke about a certain Twi castmember that would be talking about going gay? Did you happen to catch Nikki Reed's line in U.K. Glamour? If not, allow me to refresh your memory. When asked if she believes in soul mates she said: "I believe in multiple people. People are born with this desire to connect, that's why with girls the line is blurry. Is it a friendship? Is it a relationship?" Was she saying girls are a bunch of teases, or was she finally confessing to swaying the other way?
—Kanderson 

Dear Niksten:
Hey, she was close with Kristen; then that kinda died when Rob came into the picture. I'm saying it means something other than what we all think. There's definitely a story coming up for sure! But no, Nikki is neither Terry Tush-Trade or Rocky Trailer. 

Dear Ted:
Who's going to be People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive this year? Toothy Tile? Has he ever held that title?
—Mackenzie 

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Mark Sullivan/Getty Images

Dear Ted:
Love you much. So since True Blood hasn't started up again and we are all anxiously awaiting New Moon, I have been forced to get my vamp fill from The Vampire Diaries. Never really watched Lost, but I am loving Ian Somerhalder. What's the deal with him?
—R.bird 

Dear Supernatural Lover:
Mr. Somerhalder is one hot piece of ass, and as with all gorgeous types, he's got the bad-boy stories to boot, right along with the bad-boy looks. But he hasn't been a Vice'r...yet. Soon, very soon.

Dear Ted:
What the hell was wrong with Kim's face on the Atlanta Housewives reunion show?! It looked fat or puffy or swollen?
—Kc

Dear Desperately Overboard Housewife:
It's called Housewife syndrome—when these paid-for wives have nothing else to do but, shall we say, experiment with their pusses and how to stay young.

Dear Ted:
There are rumors out that Angelina Jolie is participating with the author(s) of books coming out about her. What do you think are the odds that it may be true?
—Curious

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Halloween's in seconds, babes, and looks like every celeb, from A-list to whatever the ef Octomom counts as, is getting in on the Halloween fun.

Nadya Suleman took a photo op dressed as a pregnant nun, har har! Gal's got a killer sense of humor, no? Why else would she dress up her darling brood of babies as devils and flaunt them in front of the press?

Team Awful would've dressed Nadya in an invisibility cloak so we could forget she existed for one night. But maybe some other famous faces will take our perf costume suggestions picked specifically for them?

Grab a handful of naughty treats, everybody, and take a peek!

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AP Photo/Junji Kurokawa

Dear Ted:
Do you think the new Andrew Morton bio on Angelina Jolie will be a good insight into the real Angelina? How are Brad and Angie standing the test of time?
—Kesurface 

Dear Bad Bio:
If Morton's Tom Cruise tome is any indication, don't bother with his Angie book. You can find out more goss on the tattooed vixen just by sticking to the Awful Truth. And Brangelina's still playing the same game, keeping those über-smiles stuck on their faces when everyone's watching. More annoying than that gross scruff Brad's growing on his mug, blech. But for the record, hope I'm wrong here and Morton gives us a real Princess Di-style page-turner—just doubt it.

Dear Ted:
Can you please give us a Robsten update?! We haven't seen them together since that night they were stalked by the paps into their hotel lobby. Since you know some deep Twi insiders, can you reassure all of us Robsten fans that everything is still good between them? I'd like to believe that no news is good news, but when Kristen Stewart didn't show at the wrap party, I wasn't sure what to make of it. You can never report on too much Robsten!
—Kdelorit 

Dear Worried:
This make ya feel better, hon?

Dear Ted:
I've been a faithful reader for many years, enjoying your juicy gossip on my lunch hour at work and sneaking peaks throughout the day. However, I've been really turned off by all of this Robsten junk. Your Awful Truth should be renamed to be the Awful Truth About Robsten. I took a break from reading your site because (let's be honest) it started boring me to tears for the lack of non-Robsten articles. After a few months, I've returned to check it out only to see that nothing has changed. I'm sure I'm not the only faithful that has lost their faith. You should really rethink making your Awful Truth all about Robsten.
—K.B. Houston

Dear Harsh: 
You think there's too much Robsten; the girl above you think there's too little. Can't please everybody. I write the scoops as I get 'em, and a lot of the time, it's Twi-related.

Dear Ted:
Natalie Portman recently compared eating meat to rape, which I think is ridiculous since she signed that Child Rapist's Petition. I think Ms. Portman needs a wake-up call. And I know the perfect man to do it! You! Tell us her Blind Vice! Please?
—Leigh

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Steve Granitz/Getty Images; Hulton Archive/Getty Images

There's a new tell-all in town, which is sort of like saying Lindsay Lohan is close to the end.

But, look, this one's worth picking up: Über-talented Hollywood writer and expert William Mann just came out with How to Be a Movie Star: Elizabeth Taylor in Hollywood, and Mann tells us personally who is best filling Taylor's infamous man-eating, glittery actress shoes today: Angelina Jolie.

Now, let's look at this as the good students of slutty Hollywood history that we are:

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InStyle

There's a reason why Reese Witherspoon is one of the craftiest broads in Hollywood.

Even though we know we're being manipulated with each interview into thinking of this pixie as the sweet girl next door (which she ain't), she does it in a way that makes us still like her. Jennifer Garner take notes, by all means.

Reese covers In Style next month and totally takes a play outta the Brangelina interview book.

Like opening up about her sex life, perhaps?

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Francois Duhamel/ TWC 2009

"That's up to Quentin Tarantino. I better be or I'll kill his ass!"

—Eli Roth, when we asked whether the rumors regarding an Inglourious Basterds sequel or prequel are true, and if we'll be seeing Roth's mighty mass of chest hair in it

Maybe Angelina Jolie can climb on board for part two, since Q.T. told us himself he'd friggin' love to work with her. Angie as a femme fatale in 1940s Germany? Sounds more exciting than all that depressing drama crap Jolie's been in while hunting for that second Oscar.

________

Think Brangelina could squeeze in another flick? Peep their Family Album, then decide.

Steve Granitz/Getty Images, Lisa O'Connor/ZumaPress.com

Even though Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie reportedly met briefly on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith—aka the movie that ate Jen's marriage to Brad Pitt—we're just dying to know if the gals have encountered each other since. Aren't you?

So remember our fab Brangelina insider who gave us all the scoop on how Jen and Angelina currently feel toward each other? Now we gotta ask: Have they or haven't they had it out?

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