ABC/DAVID GRAY

The aliens have landed. And we couldn't wait to welcome them.

V, ABC's redo of the 1980s sci-fi franchise, notched the fall's biggest new-series premiere among the viewers TV networks covet most.

Overall, last night's hourlong opener averaged 13.9 million hapless humans, preliminary Nielsen estimates showed, topping NBC's The Biggest Loser (8.5 million) and the first hour of Fox's So You Think You Can Dance (6.4 million).  CBS' NCIS (19.4 million) was its typical monster self, and led the 8 p.m. hour—but not among those aforementioned viewers TV networks covet most.

V, which originally invaded TV in 1983, via NBC, was actually the night's highest-rated show among the cool kids, also besting NCIS: Los Angeles and Dancing With the Stars.

Guess we've been waiting for somebody to take care of all the rodents.

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Barbara Nitke/FOX

Should NBC have opted for Lipstick Jungle over Jay Leno? Should the CW have uprooted steady Smallville for The Vampire Diaries? And should Fox have fiddled with Fringe's time slot?

With the first month of the 2009-10 TV season in the books, it's time to look at how the new shows—and the old shows in new time slots—are faring compared to last fall's lineup.

Beware of some surprising answers in the latest ratings quiz.

1. And the winner is…Lipstick Jungle or Jay Leno? Leno. At this point, the comic's averaging about 2 million more people on Wednesdays at 10 p.m. than the late Brooke Shields series was. And, yes, while Leno's ahead because of his big premiere week, big premiere weeks count.

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Carin Baer/FOX

An Emmy-winning guest star. A killer duet. And a Queen cover, to boot.

Glee, not to mention Kristin Chenoweth, who engaged McKinley High's own Lea Michele in a no-notes-barred sing-off, gave a lot last night. And in return, the Fox show topped 7 million viewers for the first time since its fall premiere, per Nielsen estimates.

While Glee got bigger, Law & Order: SVU (7.9 million) again looked smaller than usual in its new, earlier time slot. (Thanks, Jay Leno.)

Elsewhere, CBS' Criminal Minds (13.6 million) ruled as Wednesday's most-watched show. ABC continued to have success with Modern Family (9.9 million) and Cougar Town (9.1 million), even if both comedies were predicatably off from their premieres.

Even more so than last week, ABC's Eastwick (6.6 million) was rendered powerless at 10 p.m. against CBS' CSI: NY (12.9 million).

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Your handy-dandy guide to the fall season...in pictures!

Carin Baer/FOX

How's the fall working out for TV's top shows? How's that second chance working out for Dollhouse? And how's Jay Leno working out for Conan O'Brien?

The answers—and more questions—in the latest TV ratings quiz:

1. Name three big shows that look even bigger than they did last fall. NCIS rose to no. 1 in the latest Nielsen rankings. House returned to the top 10. The Big Bang Theory broke into the top 20.

2. Name three big shows that don't. The Mentalist, CSI: Miami and Desperate Housewives all fell out of the top 10. CSI suffered the most viewer defections from fall premiere to fall premiere, but still wound up at no. 7 for the week.

3. Can Dollhouse get any smaller? Than last season? Yup. Joss Whedon's show averaged only 2.5 million die-hards for its latest opener, bad for 110th place.

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ABC/RON TOM; FOX

Wisteria Lane residents, be advised: Stewie's plan for world domination is coming together.

Hot off its historic Emmy nod, Fox's Family Guy scored its biggest audience in more than a year: 10.2 million, for its eighth-season premiere, preliminary Nielsen estimates showed.

Even more impressive, in the 9 p.m. half-hour, Family Guy dominated a downsized Desperate Housewives among young people who weren't watching the football game on NBC. 

All in all, it was a pretty ugly night for Housewives.

The pretty: The six-season-old ABC soap ended up as Sunday's most-watched scripted show, with 13.2 million fans. The ugly: It lost about 5.5 million fans from last fall's opener.

How'd the premieres go for Family Guy's new neighbor and the other returning shows?

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ABC/CRAIG SJODIN

FlashForward, Grey's Anatomy, The Mentalist and CSI: Which show didn't the future look bright for last night? 

First, let's run down what the answer isn't.

• It's not FlashForward, even if the all-new Lost was asked to lead off ABC's Thursday against CBS' Survivor: Samoa and Fox's Bones. In the most impressive launch of the week, FlashForward won the 8 p.m. hour with 12.4 million viewers, per preliminary Nielsen estimates.

• It's not Grey's Anatomy, even if the financially strapped Seattle Grace itself is downsizing. The show's two-hour, season-six premiere ruled the night with 16.8 million gathering for Dr. O'Malley's memorial.

• And nope, it's not The Mentalist, even if last season's freshman hit fell flat in its sophomore premiere—not to mention its new night and time—with a big, but disappointing 14.3 million. Still, the show may rebound as soon as next week when it goes up against Private Practice, and not Grey's, at 10 p.m.

And that means the answer—and the winner of the cloudiest future—is:

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ABC/JAMES WHITE; Joe Viles/FOX

Glee was thrown to the wolves—and cougars—last night.

In its third week, the perpetually peppy high school dramedy faced its first killer test, going up against the premieres of CBS' Criminal Minds, NBC's Law & Order: SVU and ABC's new comedy block, including Courteney Cox's Cougar Town.

It passed.

Glee held steady with 6.6 million viewers, per preliminary Nielsen estimates, dominating among teens and Gossip Girls where Cougar Town (11.6 million) understandably worked the cougar vote.

Criminal Minds (15.4 million) won the night, while the Jay Leno-shuffled SVU (8.4 million) looked a little smaller at 9 p.m.

Joseph Cultise/CBS

Kelly Osbourne was divine. LL Cool J was money.

CBS' NCIS: Los Angeles killed last night with 18.3 million viewers, per preliminary Nielsen estimates. The series premiere—even bigger than The Mentalist's last fall—dominated the second hour of ABC's still kicking but slipping Dancing With the Stars.

The only show that LL Cool J and Chris O'Donnell's new vehicle didn't outrun was Mark Harmon's old one. Original-recipe NCIS owned Tuesday with 20 million viewers for its seventh season premiere.

Overall, it was a good night for free TV, with solid starts for CBS' The Good Wife (13.7 million) and ABC's The Forgotten (9.5 million), which probably helped Christian Slater forget My Own Worst Enemy.   

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The new tube season is upon us. Check out the hottest new shows—and stars—in our Fall TV Preview gallery.

Takashi Seida /The CW

There wasn't anything pretty about The Beautiful Life's premiere last night.

The CW model drama, starring Mischa Barton on the comeback trail, and featuring Ashton Kutcher in the producer's credits, was watched by just 1.5 million, per early Nielsen numbers.

The show proved especially inept with young women, who were mostly engaged at 9 p.m. by Fox's still-going-strong Glee (6.6 million).  

Overall, the season closer of America's Got Talent led Wednesday with a finale-record 15.5 million who still can't believe how good the Rolling Stones look on Susan Boyle. Jay Leno hung onto most of the crowd, with his new 10 p.m. show climbing to 13.1 million viewers. 

Michael Desmond /The CW

Two new prime timers took a tumble last night. Of course, one had a lot more room to fall than the other.

In just its second week, the CW's new-look Melrose Place fell below 2 million viewers, got schooled by NBC's Biggest Loser premiere on the art of being a chick magnet and blew the lead-in provided by the steady 90210, preliminary Nielsen numbers showed.   

But other than that...

In just his second night on the new job, Jay Leno saw his audience shrink by 7 million viewers, a true, but unfair factoid considering the comic's opening-night crowd was huge. With 10.7 million tuning in, Leno was still the biggest thing going at 10 p.m., even outdrawing the final hour of CBS' Big Brother finale and ABC's Patrick Swayze tribute.

Here's betting the residents of Melrose Place would give up their rent-controlled apartments to have Leno's "problems."

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Quantrell Colbert/The CW

What's TV's top vampire series? How did Gossip Girl make out in its premiere? And how did One Tree Hill make out without Chad Michael Murray?

The answers—and more questions—in the latest ratings quiz:

1. The Vampire Diaries or True Blood? Even though Vampire Diaries had a CW-big premiere, the second-season finale of HBO's True Blood was bigger: 5.1 million pay-cable viewers versus 4.9 million free-TV ones. In the end, both shows won. And arguably rode Twilight's coattails. 

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