"Don't actually try to burn it though, this is my skin."
Whatever, this makes perfect sense. Paul Revere's ride wouldn't have happened without horses. Horses are American Heroes.
The three most important things. In reverse order.
"See, the stripes represent the 12 but sometimes 14 colonies, and then the stars represent the nine different regrets I have about this tattoo."
Is that Lincoln Uncle Sam? We're pretty sure that's Lincoln Uncle Sam.
Well, I certainly won't be forgetting this tattoo
"One Nation, Undergoo."
WHAT DID THOSE COMMIES DO TO YOU, UNCLE SAM?!
He's howling over the loss of his dignity.
Nothing goes together like America and velociraptors.