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Every so often you come across a man so insane, so intense, so…stupid, you can't help but think to yourself, "I want this man to represent me in a court of law."

That man is Bryan Wilson.

I mean, need we say more?

He owns a hawk AND he jumps out of moving vehicles? What else do you need to know in order to hire him to defend you against that tax fraud case that was just recently brought against you? Yeah, that's right, we know about your tax fraud. But listen, we get it. We've all been in that situation. You start fudging small things on your tax return -- gas receipts that don't exist, categorizing those late night Taco Bell trips as business expenses. We've been there. And that's why we think it's time you call Bryan Wilson. We're not even sure if he does that type of law, but call him anyway. Maybe he'll pick up and yell at you about hawks. How fun would that be?