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    Dinner Theater: Paula Deen's One-Woman Show

    Paula Deen GIF

    As of late, Paula Deen's had a hankering for cheesy ground beef macaroni...and a comeback. That's why she's decided to put together a one-woman show that you can see even see live, if you live in the southern states of Tennessee or Florida. When we heard that Paula Deen Live will have games and audience interaction, we couldn't wait to get the details on what's sure to be quite a production.

    ACT ONE

    -SHE PERFORMS A DRAMATIC MONOLOGUE FROM "A RAISIN IN THE SUN" (BUT LITERALLY ABOUT A RAISIN AND NOT AT ALL SYMBOLLIC)

    -THERE'S A FUN, INTERACTIVE DATING GAME (BETWEEN PAULA AND THREE DESSERTS)

    -SHE USES MULTI-RACIAL PUPPETS TO RE-ENACT HER STORY (ABOUT THE TIME SHE GOT MEDIOCRE SERVICE AT THE CHEESECAKE FACTORY)

    -MUSICAL NUMBER:  "MY FAVORITE N-WORD IS GNOCCI"

    -SHE CRIES (AT FIRST WE THINK IT'S RELATED TO THE RACISM, THEN LATER WE FIND OUT IT'S BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO EAT DINNER) 

    **FIVE MINUTE, ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT INTERMISSION**

    ACT TWO

    -COMEDIC MONOLOGUE CHOCK-FULL OF FOOD PUNS LIKE "HAM IT UP,"  "GOING BANANAS," AND "I'M RACIST" (WHEN A JOKE DOESN'T WORK, SHE ASKS THE CROWD, "HOW MANY OF Y'ALL HAVE READ FIFTY SHADES OF GREY?")

    -SHE EATS HER SECOND TUB OF CAKE BATTER, TO MAKE A POINT…(POINT TBD)

    -SHE DIVIDES THE CROWD INTO TWO. ONE SIDE YELLS, "HEYYYY-HO!" AND THE OTHER SIDE YELLS, "WHY DO YOU NOT LIKE PEOPLE OF OTHER RACES?" (THIS GOES ON FOR AN HOUR)

    -ALL-CONFEDERATE CIVIL WAR REENACTMENT

    -"DANCE OF THE DIABETICS," WITH HILAROUS REFERENCES TO THE SUGARLESS PLUM FAIRY

    **INTERMISSION WITH A "KISS-THE-MARSHMALLOW-GLAZED-PIG CONTEST AND SET SOME ASIDE FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE SHOW**

    ACT THREE

    -SHE DIVIDES THE CROWD INTO TWO. ONE SIDE YELLS, "HEYYYY-HO!" AND THE OTHER SIDE YELLS, "WHY DO YOU NOT LIKE PEOPLE OF OTHER RACES?" (THIS GOES ON FOR AN HOUR)

    -A SCENE WITH ENDS WITH EXTRA GRAVY. " A GIANT LOAF OF BREAD FALLS FROM THE CEILING, LIKE THE CHANDELIER IN "PHANTOM OF THE OPERA." THE AUDIENCE IS THEN PROMPTED TO CHANT "SOP IT UP!" AND PAULA KEEPS GOING, 'WHAT WAS THAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" THEN SHE LAUNCHES INTO A DRAMATIC MONOLOGUE ON HOW DIABETES HAS SERIOUSLY AFFECTED HER HEARING.

    -SHE FAKES A HEART ATTACK…OR DOES SHE??

    BLACKOUT

    Paula is still hiring crew members for this production. All MUST be experienced in stage lighting in bulk gravy production.

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