Since Joel is hosting the White House Correspondents' Dinner this year, we decided to take a look back at some of the comedians who had the privilege of doing so in the past. Here are some of the memorable chucklesack-rubbing lines they delivered back in the days before tri-colored tortellini was available as a vegetarian option.
Nathaniel Nathaniels for George Washington:
You "can't tell a lie"? Really?? You're a dude with a ponytail.
Johnny Snicklebottom For Thomas Jefferson
Just by a show of hands, how many women here are carrying Thomas Jefferson's babies? Just kidding, he didn't invite any of his slaves here tonight.
Ebenezer Worthington for Martin Van Buren
Can we all admit that having the word "van" in your name is the creepiest thing in the world? "Hey if that guy Martin Van Buren offers you a ride in his carriage, yell "Amoebic Dysentery!" and run as fast as you can."
Skippy Chucklesworth for Zachary Taylor
Ah, Zachary Taylor. What can I say? Not much. I walked past you on my way in here and I thought you were a butler.
Farius Huckle for Abraham Lincoln
I'm really looking forward to the next twelve hours…also known as "when Abraham Lincoln speaks." Some of us might have to "emancipate" ourselves for a bathroom break. I mean, seriously, Abe, by the time you finished the Gettysburg Address, the rest of us were three counties away.
Horace Greenpants for Franklin D. Roosevelt
Franklin, you've done what no other president has done before.. and by that, I mean you listen to your wife. Eleanor, are you here tonight? Oh, sorry, I didn't recognize you without the bag you carry Franklin's balls in.
Peter Peabody for William Howard Taft
You know, we almost held tonight's dinner in President Taft's bathtub. It would have been easy since it was already full of gravy and mashed potatoes.
Shecky Brimrose for Harry S. Truman:
At first I was nervous for tonight…and then I realized no one will ever bomb harder than Harry S. Truman.
Tune in this Wednesday at 10/9c for a special episode of "The Soup," broadcast from the nation's capitol.