It's been really a hard week for Kris Jenner, who's currently dealing with her least favorite thing in the world—more attention. Right now she's convinced that a group of evil pranksters are plotting to tarnish the Kardashian name. These alleged tricksters have done the unspeakable, from making fake sushi reservatons to planting rumors about a Kris Jenner sex tape. And while I do see how these practical jokes could cause some level of unrest, the pranksters don't really seem to be tapping into the Las Vegas-like infinity pool of Kardashian shortcomings. In other words, they could learn a thing or two about how to really pull one over on a nasally lady in a bandage dress.
So wherever you are, alleged criminals, here are some tips on really getting the Kardashians good.
-Give a Kardashian a can of peanut brittle but when she opens it a bunch of prenuptial agreements pop out.
-For an entire day, get everyone to pretend they like Kris.
-Enroll them in college.
-Get a Kardashian to volunteer at a children's hospital, and then when you leave, reveal that you didn't tape any of it!
-Saran wrap Bruce's face and see if they notice.
-Tell Kendall you're taking her to "rock a secret runway" then when she takes off her blindfold she finds out you've left her on Skid Row.
-Replace their Loubitins with FAKE Loubitins!
-Throw a surprise Kardashian "talent" show.
-Put a whoopee cushion in Kim's butt—or five, no one will notice.
-Set a paper cup on top of a doorway, then when they open the door a pair of Kris's eyelids fall out.
-Short sheet their bed right before they tape themselves sleeping in it.
-Replace Kim's clothes with baby sizes and see if she can tell the difference.
-Call and ask if their refrigerator running and then when they say "I don't know." Say, "Better ask your team of maids!' and hang up.
-Replace North West with a pile of money and see how long it takes for anyone to notice.
-Set their spray tan on the lowest level so they have to expose their real skin tone for an entire day.
And finally...put a sign outside a room that says "VIP," but when they open the door, they have to stare into the cultural void they've created.