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    Video. Madonna. Essence. Vulva. Time.

    Madonna's new skin care line has finally launched, so of course the Material Girl had to make a statement. Actually, she made several statements, so when you watch the ad, the main message is pretty hard to glean. Still, when you see the original script for the ad, you'll realize that Madonna actually did a pretty good job with what she was given.

    We've put everything that she omitted in bold so that you can watch and follow along.

    (Lie on the floor like they can't tell if I'm dead or just sexy. I'm a shadow, the ultimate mystery, photographers EVERYWHERE) Having good skin is important to me (then, whisper) Having good skin is important! (We see my stunt double's legs in thigh highs) But so are other things. (My hand crawls across my knee like a spider puppet.) Creation. Your body smells of honey of the comb. Darkness envelops the vulva of time. I'm an eagle of pain. I have a maid named Margueritte. (Then, whisper, "Margueritte!")  Sorry. I haven't had a normal conversation since "Cherish." Essence. Your amber silken skin smells of your mind. What's wrong, never done "it" (then whisper, "Smelled a brain") before? Frontal lobe. Slime. (Bring my finger to my lips in a shushing motion, also making sure there's no seaweed barley soup in my teeth) Alchemy. I've spent hours on it. (whisper "Touch my skin!") Months on it. (whisper "Touch me!") Years on it. (Whisper, "Just the tip!") MDNA. Transformation. Enigmatic. Hyrdromatic. (I pop my collar) Greased Lightnin'. Touch My Skin. Substance. Vaginal Rejuvenation. Connection. MDMA album free with purchase. (Whisper, "Purchase!") Revolution. Spirit. (Whisper, "Please purchase!") Intuition. Magic. Water with lemon. Mystical. Ambition. Infinity. Thesaurus. (Lift skirt, make sure everything's okay down there.) Infinity. Immortal. I'm relevant. Locusts. Psoriasis. The valet flies at midnight. MDMA Skin Care Line. (then, whisper, "Forget I ever wrote children's books") From MTG. Clay mask. Serum. (then, whisper) Remember meeeeeee! Skin rejuvenator. Proton Pack. Can you feel it? Who has two thumbs and is Beautiful…That's right, me. Je'Taime. Le toilet. Shhh. The future.

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